The Man Enough Podcast

A Football Coach in Heels: Shattering Stereotypes with Mark Bryan | What’s Underneath: Masculinity

Dec 14, 2023

34:36

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp, the world’s largest therapy platform. Visit http://BetterHelp.com/WhatsUnderneath today to get 10% off your first month.

Mark Bryan is a cis, straight-identifying, traditionally masculine man who works as a robotic engineer and football coach…and also loves wearing skirts and heels. He has unintentionally started challenging traditional gender norms by proudly incorporating so-called “Women's clothes” into his wardrobe, rejecting the idea that it says anything about one’s sexual orientation or that clothes should be gendered.

Mark recounts the pivotal college moment when he first experimented with high heels and, after a 40-year hiatus, rediscovered the empowering sensation of integrating them into his daily style. The conversation delves into the assumptions people make about Mark's sexual orientation and explores the process of communicating his style shift to both family and colleagues. He navigates the intricate paradox of advocating for clothing being just clothes and needing to be free from gender associations, while acknowledging the power they possess in helping individuals feel authentically aligned with their true selves.

This dialogue is a powerful reminder that growth often comes from accountability and challenging discussions. Lily and Elisa have an important conversation with Mark about his relationship with the LGBTQIA+ community, addressing past mistakes. Through it, Mark learns in real-time how he can become a better ally, embracing his shared mission with the queer community in fostering a safe space for self-expression.

What’s Underneath: Masculinity is Man Enough’s series in partnership with StyleLikeU, with new episodes every Thursday. Watch shorter video episodes: http://YouTube.com/StyleLikeU

Man Enough Podcast episodes will continue to release every Monday.

IN THIS EPISODE:

(02:54) Freedom of expression through style and fashion

(05:22) Telling his wife about wanting to wear heels

(06:22) Assumptions & misperceptions about his sexual orientation

(09:05) What his family thinks of his style

(11:42) Addressing the controversy around past comments about the LGBTQIA+ community

(19:50) How powerful owning his own style can be for him and others

(24:56) Feeling vulnerable and crying

(29:00) What does it mean to be ‘Man Enough’

MARK QUOTATIONS:

"We should have more concerns in this world other than what people are wearing. Me wearing skirts should be the least of your worries. We should be worried about racism. We should be worried about wars. The world's not going to end because Mark Bryan is wearing a skirt in high heels."

[Regarding missteps and past comments that caused harm]: "I just kind of looked at it as something to be saddened that it happened and then look forward to seeing how to correct it and make myself a better person and use it as a learning experience. It's a pretty beautiful way to look at it. It's the only way to look at life. So if it's something that disappoints you or saddens you...to try to find something positive about it. "

"I get a lot of comments on my Instagram, "Hey, be a man, you know, wear pants." I said, "I am a man, but I'm just wearing a skirt.""

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