The Trauma Therapist Leaving the Ashram with Mary Garden
Jan 16, 2026
Mary Garden, a New Zealand-born author and memoirist, shares her remarkable journey from troubled childhood to ashrams in India. She dives into family dysfunction, revealing dark secrets and the impact of sibling abuse. Mary candidly discusses leaving home in search of belonging, her experiences with ashram control tactics, and the shocking realities of forced abortions. Her writing process aids healing and sheds light on sibling abuse, ultimately leading to the introspective work, My Father's Suitcase, reflecting on recovery and survival from complex PTSD.
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Leaving Home At Sixteen
- Mary left home at 16 and immediately sought belonging by traveling to India and joining ashrams in the 1970s.
- She described that move as escaping a deeply dysfunctional family and searching for community and identity.
Hidden Family Trauma Shapes Life Choices
- Mary links family dysfunction, secrecy, and intergenerational trauma to patterns that shaped her life choices.
- Discovering her parents' hidden histories later provided healing and context for her father's coldness and her mother's depression.
Sibling Violence Normalized
- Mary described experiencing violence from her sister, including being stabbed in the back, which she initially normalized.
- That sibling abuse framed her lifelong shame and later influenced her vulnerability to abusive partners and gurus.
