Thoughts on Record: Podcast of the Ottawa Institute of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Dr. Claire Sira & Tom Hudock: Feeling Loved With Adult ADHD
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In this episode, Dr. Claire Sira and Tom Hudock join me to discuss their new book Feeling Loved with Adult ADHD. We explore how ADHD can quietly undermine even the strongest relationships—and how partners can move from shame and blame to empathy and trust.
Together we cover:
- Emotion dysregulation and its impact on intimacy
- ADHD as a “third partner” in relationships
- Moving from criticism to curiosity
- The “Trust Account” metaphor for building connection
- Navigating over-functioning vs. under-functioning roles
- Shame spirals, defensiveness, and timing in conflict
- Practical tools like boundaries, and empathy skills
- How worksheets and reflective exercises support real change
- Signs of hope for couples who feel stuck or disconnected
If you’re living with ADHD, partnered with someone who is, or working clinically with these dynamics, this conversation offers both compassion and practical strategies.
Dr. Claire Sira Dr. Sira earned her PhD in Clinical Psychology with a specialization in Neuropsychology from UVic in 2007. After working as a Neuropsychologist at Victoria General Hospital for five years, she transitioned to full-time private practice in 2014. In 2019, she expanded her focus to include assessing and treating ADHD in adults and youth, recognizing the similarity between executive function impairments in adult ADHD and those resulting from acquired brain injuries. As a co-founder of ADHD For Life, Dr. Sira has developed an efficient ADHD assessment process for psychologists and physicians. Additionally, she and her co-founder offer online coaching programs and books for adults with ADHD. Dr. Sira frequently presents on ADHD to healthcare professionals and provides supervision and training to therapists looking to enhance their skills in ADHD assessment and treatment. She also consults with clinics and specialized teams to integrate mental and behavioral healthcare into their services. Lastly, Dr. Sira is a past president of the British Columbia Psychological Association Board of Directors and is currently serving a three-year term as a Director at Large on the Canadian Psychological Association Board of Directors.
Tom Hudock Known for starting organizations in technology, education, and psychology, Tom Hudock is more than a startup junkie—he is a coach, mentor, advocate, and partner. In a world where leaders are often lauded for being harsh, Tom does it all with compassion for the people, process, and product he seeks to elevate. But like many entrepreneurs, his path has not always been easy. As a young man, Tom left an Engineering degree to develop Canada’s 2nd Microsoft Windows-based Point-Of-Sale software, selling it across North America. After a successful exit to a plastics and paints retailer, he built his consulting expertise with government and big business while co-founding ADHD For Life and Hyperfocus Software. In 2015, Tom co-founded Rethink Thinking Foundation, a non-profit hosting 250-teen weekend events with headliners like Sir Ken Robinson. He later launched Arc Academy of Inquiry, a registered middle school rooted in self-direction, resilience, and inquiry-based learning. Through challenges and failures came deep lessons and clarity. Today, Tom champions the underdog and finds his strongest inspiration by investing in people with drive and forward-thinking ideas.