#358 – Aella: Sex Work, OnlyFans, Porn, Escorting, Dating, and Human Sexuality

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Feb 10, 2023

Dive into a candid exploration of sex work and human sexuality with Aella, a sex researcher and writer. Discover the dynamics of modern dating, including the nuances between casual and serious relationships. Hear about the transition from camming to OnlyFans, showcasing the creative expressions in sex work. Engage in discussions of autonomy, intimacy, and the emotional complexities of client interactions. The conversation takes a deeper look at the impact of childhood experiences on adult relationships, revealing how personal history shapes perceptions and preferences in love and sex.

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insights

INSIGHT

Uncertainty and Novelty

Aella finds uncertainty more exciting than certainty in conversations.
Novelty, while perceived as new, inherently carries uncertainty and attracts us.

question_answer

ANECDOTE

Risk Aversion vs. Intellectual Risk

Aella discusses her fear of saying something dumb on the podcast and being perceived as stupid.
She contrasts her risk aversion in physical activities with her openness to intellectual risk-taking online.

insights

INSIGHT

Attraction to Taboo Questions

Aella is drawn to asking questions considered taboo, particularly around sex.
She notes the lack of rigorous discussion about sex despite its central role in human civilization.

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Exploring Health, Data, and Personal Joy through Sponsorships

02:15 • 4min

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Navigating Uncertainty in Dialogue

06:27 • 7min

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The Fundamental Drivers of Human Experience

13:35 • 13min

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Exploring Free Will and Consciousness

26:19 • 12min

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Childhood Shadows and Personal Freedom

37:57 • 7min

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Faith, Dance, and the Journey of Belief

45:13 • 10min

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From Homeschooling to Self-Discovery

54:46 • 11min

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Exploring Camming and the Transition to OnlyFans

01:05:52 • 2min

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Creativity and Connection in Sex Work

01:07:26 • 14min

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Exploring the Nature of Happiness and Emotional Stability

01:21:44 • 2min

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Marketing Strategies in Sex Work

01:23:33 • 6min

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Intimacy in Shared Listening Experiences

01:29:20 • 2min

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Navigating Modern Dating Dynamics

01:31:07 • 12min

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Analyzing Social Dynamics Through Twitter Data

01:43:00 • 3min

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Navigating the Escorting Landscape

01:46:15 • 12min

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Navigating Intimacy and Vulnerability

01:58:24 • 9min

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Navigating the Depths of Connection

02:07:53 • 10min

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Exploring the Depths of the Human Condition Through Inquiry

02:17:41 • 2min

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Navigating Love and Intimacy

02:19:33 • 7min

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Navigating Jealousy and Relationship Dynamics

02:26:03 • 11min

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Navigating Taboos and Fetishes in Sexuality

02:36:53 • 15min

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Navigating Sexuality: Power Dynamics and Consent

02:52:15 • 11min

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Exploring the Psychedelic Experience: LSD vs. Shrooms

03:03:41 • 2min

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Belief Construction and Frame Control

03:05:31 • 18min

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Adventures and Agency: The Bold Decisions of Youth

03:23:48 • 2min

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Romance and Randomness

03:25:58 • 3min

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Tracking Intimacy: Insights on Sexual Histories

03:29:22 • 5min

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Navigating Emotions and Modern Relationships

03:34:06 • 13min

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Navigating AI and Modern Relationships

03:46:47 • 12min

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Exploring Emotion, Curiosity, and the Meaning of Life

The Road is set in a world that has been devastated by an unspecified cataclysmic event, resulting in the extinction of nearly all life on Earth. The story follows an unnamed father and his young son as they travel south along the road, carrying their meager possessions and a pistol with only two bullets. The father, suffering from a worsening respiratory condition, is determined to protect his son from the dangers of their new world, including cannibalistic marauders. Along their journey, they encounter various survivors, some of whom are cruel and others who show kindness. The novel explores themes of love, survival, and the preservation of humanity in a world devoid of hope. Ultimately, the father's health fails, and he dies, but not before ensuring his son's safety with a new family who may offer a chance for a better future.

Meditations

Marcus Aurelius

Meditations is a series of private writings composed by Marcus Aurelius, one of Rome's greatest emperors, as he struggled to understand himself and make sense of the universe. Written between 170 and 180 CE while on military campaigns, this work combines Stoic philosophy with personal observations on leadership, duty, mortality, and human nature. Through twelve books of intimate thoughts never intended for publication, Marcus Aurelius explores themes of self-improvement, resilience in the face of adversity, and living virtuously while accepting what cannot be changed.

Brave New World

Aldous Huxley

Written in 1931 and published in 1932, 'Brave New World' is a dystopian novel set in a futuristic World State where humans are bred in vitro and predestined into a rigid social hierarchy. The novel explores themes of technological advancement, social conditioning, and the loss of individuality and freedom. The story revolves around characters such as Bernard Marx, an Alpha who questions the society, Mustapha Mond, the World Controller, and John, a 'Savage' from a reservation who introduces elements of emotion and individuality into the highly controlled World State. The novel critiques the optimism of technological progress and its potential to create a society that values stability and happiness over humanity and freedom.

The Denial of Death

Ernest Becker

In 'The Denial of Death', Ernest Becker discusses the psychological and philosophical implications of how people and cultures react to the concept of death. He argues that human civilization is a defense mechanism against the knowledge of our mortality, and that this denial is a necessary component of functioning in the world. Becker's work challenges traditional Freudian thought by positing that the primary repression is not sexuality, but rather the awareness of death. He also explores how this fear of death leads to the creation of 'hero systems' and symbols that help individuals transcend their mortality, and how this can result in violence and conflict when different immortality projects clash.

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Sir Michael Howard

Aella is a sex researcher, writer, and sex worker. Please support this podcast by checking out our sponsors:
– House of Macadamias: https://houseofmacadamias.com/lex and use code LEX to get 20% off your first order
– Athletic Greens: https://athleticgreens.com/lex to get 1 month of fish oil
– InsideTracker: https://insidetracker.com/lex to get 20% off

EPISODE LINKS:
Aella’s Website: https://knowingless.com/
Aella’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/aella_girl/
Aella’s OnlyFans: https://onlyfans.com/aella_girl/
Askhole card game: https://askhole.io/

PODCAST INFO:
Podcast website: https://lexfridman.com/podcast
Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/2lwqZIr
Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2nEwCF8
RSS: https://lexfridman.com/feed/podcast/
YouTube Full Episodes: https://youtube.com/lexfridman
YouTube Clips: https://youtube.com/lexclips

SUPPORT & CONNECT:
– Check out the sponsors above, it’s the best way to support this podcast
– Support on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/lexfridman
– Twitter: https://twitter.com/lexfridman
– Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lexfridman
– LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lexfridman
– Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lexfridman
– Medium: https://medium.com/@lexfridman

OUTLINE:
Here’s the timestamps for the episode. On some podcast players you should be able to click the timestamp to jump to that time.
(00:00) – Introduction
(06:14) – Uncertainty
(13:51) – Sex, power, and death
(26:21) – Free will
(27:46) – Consciousness
(37:41) – Childhood
(50:39) – Dancing
(1:03:56) – Casual sex
(1:06:10) – Camming
(1:21:05) – OnlyFans
(1:31:19) – Dating
(1:47:11) – Escorting
(2:05:12) – Emotion vs reason
(2:13:17) – Love
(2:20:50) – Polyamory
(2:29:44) – Monogamy
(2:36:14) – Sex fetishes
(2:53:42) – Dominance and submissiveness
(3:03:23) – Psychedelics
(3:22:35) – Romance
(3:30:05) – Body count
(3:39:51) – Porn
(3:43:10) – Mortality
(3:45:46) – AI
(3:56:26) – Rationalist discourse
(4:00:18) – Meaning of life

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