In this episode, Mia Birdsong, author of 'How We Show Up: Reclaiming Family, Friendship, and Community', discusses the importance of building healthy communities and reevaluating societal values. They explore the impact of capitalism on our ability to connect and support one another, the meaning of showing up for someone, setting boundaries without bosses or policing, and cultivating a collective vitality for a liberated future.
Building relationships and fostering connections within our communities is crucial for creating a post-capitalist society that prioritizes relationships and community over individualism.
Accountability, seen as a gift instead of punishment, supports personal growth, integrity, and contributes to the larger goals of abolition and collective liberation.
Embracing the gift economy, where resources are shared without immediate reciprocity, challenges the exchange economy mentality and strengthens community connections.
Deep dives
Building a Post-Capitalist Society: Reconnecting to Our Humanity
We are facing multiple existential crises and must come to terms with the reality of climate change. However, how we respond to these crises can determine the future we build. By reconnecting to what it means to be human and prioritizing relationships and community, we can create a post-capitalist society. Mia Birdsong's book, How We Show Up, explores the separation we have from one another and offers ways to turn towards one another, fostering connection and support. Capitalism has undermined our ability to create and sustain healthy communities, but through practices like relationship anarchy and cultivating a gift economy, we can regain our sense of belonging and resilience. It is crucial that we envision and practice the future we want, while also understanding the challenges we face and the need for grace in our journey towards building thriving communities.
Getting to Know Your Neighbors: Building Community Connections
Building relationships with our neighbors is an essential part of creating strong communities. Taking the time to introduce ourselves, exchange contact information, and engage in small talk can lead to deeper connections. Knowing our neighbors not only fosters a sense of safety and security but also enables us to support one another in times of need. By engaging in a gift economy, where we share resources, lend a helping hand, and offer support, we can unhook from the individualistic mindset imposed by capitalism. These community connections can also be powerful in promoting accountability and conflict resolution, allowing us to lean on one another rather than relying on systems that perpetuate harm.
Practicing Accountability in Community: A Gift of Growth and Integrity
Accountability is a gift that supports our growth and integrity. Instead of viewing it as punishment, we can see it as a means of staying true to our values and best selves. Understanding and managing our shame responses is integral to fostering effective accountability. Recognizing that shame is a survival response stemming from our fear of being excluded from the tribe allows us to approach accountability with empathy and compassion. Having explicit conversations about accountability and establishing relationships with individuals who can hold us accountable can strengthen our commitment to personal growth. By practicing accountability within our communities, we not only support one another's integrity but also contribute to the larger goals of abolition and collective liberation.
Imagining a Resilient and Equitable Future: Practicing Futurist Thinking
In the face of multiple existential crises, it is essential to engage in futurist thinking. We must envision and activate a future that is equitable, regenerative, and just. By considering the ways we can contribute to this future in the present, we can actively participate in shaping a post-capitalist society. This includes unlearning traditional relationship paradigms and embracing relationship anarchy, where we create our own relationship cultures based on our needs and desires. It also involves turning towards one another in times of crisis, fostering mutual aid, and cultivating a sense of belonging and connection. Our collective resilience and ability to build thriving communities will play a crucial role in creating the future we desire.
Unlearning Capitalism: Embracing the Gift Economy
One of the ways to unhook from capitalism is by embracing the gift economy. We can challenge the exchange economy mentality by supporting one another without the expectation of immediate reciprocity. This can involve sharing resources, engaging in mutual aid, and offering support to those in our communities. By reimagining our relationships and reframing our needs, we can move away from a model of individual success and accumulation, focusing instead on collective well-being. Practicing the gift economy not only strengthens community connections but also challenges oppressive systems and fosters resilience in the face of capitalist pressures.
As we continue to work towards outer transformation, building the structures and models that will shape the transition to a post-capitalist society, it’s also important to think about the inner transitions within ourselves — particularly, how we relate to one another personally and socially.
How we show up together for a liberated future is the core theme of the book How We Show Up: Reclaiming Family, Friendship, and Community, written by our guest in this episode, Mia Birdsong. Mia is the Executive Director of the Next River Institute and the host of the More than Enough podcast miniseries. In How We Show Up, Mia shares how we have separated from one another despite our deep desire for belonging. She explores how we can instead turn towards one another, remembering our inherent interconnectedness, and how we can find connection and support in vulnerability and generosity.
In this conversation we explore how capitalism has undermined our ability to create and sustain healthy communities, what it really means to show up for someone, how to set boundaries and hold each other accountable without bosses or policing, what a healthy interconnected community feels like, and how to cultivate a sense of collective vitality that embodies the liberated future we want right now
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