385. Self Forgiveness with Jessica Fostekew and special guest Lou Sanders
Feb 5, 2024
auto_awesome
Lou Sanders, a comedian and performer, joins the hosts to discuss self-forgiveness. They touch on topics like the pressure of beauty standards, the lack of recognition for women playwrights, fear of driving, childhood memories, and promoting Lou Sanders' book.
Sharing vulnerable stories promotes self-forgiveness and personal growth.
Learning from past mistakes leads to personal transformation.
Gendered perceptions often result in different responses to personal stories and mistakes.
Deep dives
Pontins, vodka, and belly laughs
The memoir recounts a childhood memory of going to Pontins with her dad and his girlfriend, Tracy. Tracy had a big perm and used to spritz and scrunch her hair a lot. They were rationed to two biscuits a day, and if they took more, they got in deep trouble. Another childhood memory is getting her first taste of alcohol at a friend's house at 11 and going to her first nightclub at 13. Luz also shares the hilarious experience of briefly being a drug dealer after a sexual encounter with a man just out of prison. However, her career was short-lived as she accidentally wasted hundreds of pounds on what turned out to be fake cocaine.
Losing Confidence with Age
As Luz approaches her 40s, she reflects on feeling older and experiencing accelerated aging. She shares humorous anecdotes like instinctively yelling 'kill them' when seeing two men crossing a busy road against the red light and developing involuntary old habits like exclaiming 'whoa' when opening a front door. She talks about taking up running to maintain a sense of self and the challenges she faces as her body ages, such as pulling a muscle while running a mile.
Becoming a Drug Dealer for a Day
Luz recounts a story from her past when she briefly became a drug dealer after a sexual encounter with a man who had just been released from prison. The man offered her a chance to deal drugs at a discounted price, and she took up the opportunity, intending to make some holiday money. However, her career as a drug dealer was short-lived when she accidentally wasted the drugs, realizing it was not cocaine as she had thought. She reflects on the humorous and unexpected turn of events.
Other Highlights from the Memoir
Other highlights mentioned in the memoir include childhood memories of going to the nightclub at the age of 13, not being allowed to eat her friend's snacks freely, and feeling envious of her friend's mum's relaxed attitudes. The memoir is filled with humorous and relatable stories from Luz's life, showcasing her unique perspective and experiences.
Self-forgiveness and sharing vulnerable stories
The hosts discuss the importance of self-forgiveness and sharing vulnerable stories as a way to learn from past mistakes and grow. They emphasize that suppressing guilt can lead to shame, which weighs a person down emotionally and mentally. They encourage openness and honesty in sharing personal experiences, acknowledging that everyone has made mistakes and should not be judged for them. By sharing these stories, individuals can gain a sense of relief and connection, knowing that others have gone through similar experiences and have learned from them.
Lessons from past mistakes and the impact of sharing stories
The hosts share personal stories of past mistakes, including drinking and driving incidents. They reflect on the importance of learning from these experiences and how it has influenced their behavior. They discuss the gendered perceptions around certain stories, with men often getting a more lighthearted response while women face more judgment. Despite the embarrassment and shame associated with these stories, they believe that sharing them can be cathartic and help others who may have gone through similar situations. They highlight how self-forgiveness and growth come from confronting and learning from past mistakes, ultimately leading to personal transformation.