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Welcome back to the Ones Ready team room, where Peaches kicks down the door with another unapologetic ops brief. We’re starting off hot with Fort Bliss turning into a glorified detention center because, shocker, we’re drowning in illegal immigration. Meanwhile, the Coast Guard just wrecked someone's narco empire by snatching up $88 million in drugs—casually dropped in San Diego like it’s trash day.

But the real jaw-dropper? Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, 9/11’s mastermind, pled guilty… to avoid the death penalty. Let that sink in. Mr. "I’ll send people to blow themselves up for paradise" is too scared to face his own end. Punk move of the century. Peaches doesn’t hold back, comparing him—and other cowardly leaders—to the same political class here at home. It’s savage, and it’s spot on.

On the Air Force side, we’ve got nuclear microreactors going online in Alaska (because why not test clean energy near Russia), the PT test still killing people who dry-scoop pre-workout, and a whole lot of effort to look like we’re “resilient” with energy security buzzwords. Also, surprise—transitioning service members just got denied early retirement pay. That’s gonna stir the pot.

Then there’s Space Force. Yep, they’re doing “Guardian Arena,” a Roman-gladiator-meets-tech-bro competition to prove they can actually sweat. Physical strength, mental agility, teamwork, and probably a whole lot of cosplay armor. Peaches is skeptical—but weirdly intrigued.

It’s all unfiltered, rapid-fire, and zero apologies. Let’s go.

🔥 Key Takeaways:

Fort Bliss is now Fort Holding Tank
Coast Guard: 1, Cartel: 0 ($88M seized 💰)
9/11 mastermind takes plea deal—won’t die for his own cause 🤡
Space Force hosts Roman-gladiator cosplay with kettlebells
DoD drops mini nukes in Alaska—for energy, not war (yet)
Air Force PT still causing heart attacks. Stop dry-scooping pre-workout, nerds.

⏱️ Timestamps:
00:00 – Welcome to the Madness
01:00 – What “Attributes-Based Selection” Really Means
01:45 – Nashville OTS Still Open – Get Your Spot
02:30 – Creatine Gummies and PT Test Heart Attacks
04:00 – Fort Bliss: Welcome to the New Detention Center
05:00 – DPAA’s Right

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Sermon Brainwave 910: Fifth Sunday after Pentecost - July 2, 2023