92: The 3 Biggest Mistakes People Make During Negotiations with Kwame Christian M.A. Esquire

Negotiation is all around us, whether we see it or not. Whether it’s a business negotiation, an argument in a relationship, or convincing your child to eat their greens, you’re always negotiating. With us on today’s episode is Kwame Christian M.A. Esquire, host of the Negotiate Everything podcast and author of Finding Confidence in Conflict.

Most people think you have to be a lawyer to be an expert negotiator. Kwame argues that this isn’t true. Since we are constantly negotiating every day, we have the ability to level up our skills to become experts in debating and negotiating. He stresses that winning a negotiation doesn’t mean beating your opponent so they’re embarrassed at the end. It means giving you AND the opponent the ability to walk away from the situation with a win.

Kwame preaches “compassionate curiosity” as one of the best ways to research how an opponent may answer questions you present to them. Tie this with some creative problem solving, and you’ll come out of the debate a winner.

As real estate investors, this is especially key to our line of business. We’re constantly debating with sellers, buyers, appraisers and more to get outcomes that benefit us. But how can we suggest an outcome that makes the negotiating partner feel good and presents us with future opportunities? You’ll have to listen to find out!

In This Episode We Cover:

• Why negotiating isn’t just arguing and how to find wins for both parties
• Using “The Empathy Loop” as a tactic to have the other party feel heard
• The 3 pillars of negotiation, and keeping them in mind when we debate
• The biggest mistakes people make when negotiating
• Research vs. preparation (when to use which for what)
• Compassionate curiosity and seeing your opponents point of view
• Maintaining your “form” throughout negotiation
• And So Much More!

Links from the Show

• Previous BiggerPockets Business Episodes
• Finding Confidence in Conflict | Kwame Christian | TEDxDayton
• American Negotiation Institute Guides (Gift)
• Virtual Negotiation and Conflict Resolution Handbook (Gift)

Check the full show notes here: http://biggerpockets.com/bizshow92

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