Musician Amie Morrison discusses her experience of transitioning in her 30s, her queer relationship, and exploring gender variance with her late best friend. They also delve into the complexities of gender in Hebrew, misconceptions about drag and trans identities, and the pressure on trans individuals to conform to binary gender norms.
Amie Morrison embraced her femininity later in life, finding comfort in her body and recontextualizing her existing qualities through a feminine lens.
Amie reflects on her evolving relationship with masculinity, from childhood freedom to conflicts during puberty, and how it has changed throughout her transition.
Deep dives
Amy's Unique Perspective on Realizing She Was Trans Femme
Amy, a binary trans woman in her 40s, shares her journey of realizing her gender identity and embracing femininity later in life. She reflects on childhood moments that hinted at her femininity and discusses the struggle of defining femininity for oneself. Ultimately, Amy describes her experience of returning home to a place she never lived, finding comfort in her body and recontextualizing her existing qualities through a feminine lens.
Navigating Masculinity and Feminity in Amy's Transition
Amy shares her relationship with the terms masculinity and femininity. She describes how her childhood was marked by a lack of enforcing gender roles, allowing her to embrace a nuanced understanding of what it means to be a man. As she grew older, conflicts with masculinity arose, particularly during puberty. Amy discusses her resistance to becoming an adult man and how her relationship with masculinity has evolved throughout her transition.
The Rewards and Challenges of Transitioning Later in Life
Amy reflects on the experience of transitioning in her 30s and the imposter syndrome that often accompanies it. She discusses the pressure to conform to the 'born this way' narrative and the cherry-picking of moments to fuel self-doubt. Amy emphasizes the importance of building a queer community and highlights the rewards of solidarity in her relationship with her wife. She also explores the challenges of navigating social dynamics, grief, and the impact of her transition on various aspects of her life, such as work and relationships.
Finding Peace through Dancing and Rituals
Amy shares her rituals of peace during her transition. She finds solace in dancing alone at the club, sometimes shedding tears, and emphasizes the healing power of dancing with friends. Amy also discusses how renegotiating her relationship with alcohol and taking breaks from drinking have allowed her to find clarity and ease in her journey. Additionally, she highlights the impact of her transition on her music-making and the ongoing presence of her late friend in her artistic expression.
This week, musician and friend of the show Amie Morrison talks transitioning in her 30s, how her marriage blossomed into a queer relationship, and exploring gender variance with her late best friend.
Content warning: suicide and grief at 21:45-31:00 and 36:35-38:05.
Hosted by Ally Beardsley and Babette Thomas, Gender Spiral is a quest to explore the modern experience of being a human in our gendered world.