How to Ask for Help When You’re Struggling with Depression

Asking for help sounds simple — but when you’re struggling with depression, it can feel nearly impossible. Too often, we’re told “reach out if you need help,” without being given the language or tools to actually do it.

In this episode of Giving Voice to Depression, mental health advocate and writer Sam Dylan Finch shares practical, real-world phrases anyone can use when depression makes it difficult to ask for support. From small requests like asking a loved one to help with daily tasks, to urgent language for suicidal moments, Sam provides life-saving tools to bridge the gap between suffering in silence and reaching out for help.

This conversation reminds us that needing help is not weakness — and that having words ready can make the difference between isolation and connection, despair and survival.

Link to Sam's list: https://letsqueerthingsup.com/2018/03/03/10-ways-to-reach-out-when-youre-struggling-with-your-mental-health/

Link to Sam's blog: letsqueerthingsup.com/tag/mental-health/

Primary Topics Covered:

• Why asking for help with depression feels so difficult
• Sam Dylan Finch’s journey after losing a friend to suicide
• Practical phrases and scripts for reaching out when you’re struggling
• How to ask for small, specific kinds of support (meals, chores, reminders)
• Asking for affirmation and reminders of your value
• Language to use when you’re nearing a crisis point
• What to say when reaching out to someone you’re not very close to
• The critical importance of directly saying, “I’m suicidal. I need help now.”
• How stigma and self-doubt keep people from speaking up
• Why having ready-to-use words can save lives

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction  
01:02 – Why “just ask for help” advice often falls short  
01:35 – Sam Dylan Finch’s story: loss, grief, and reflection  
02:22 – Why not knowing what to say prevents people from reaching out  
03:07 – The need for practical language when support systems fall short  
04:08 – Example 6: Asking for help with specific daily tasks  
05:44 – Why small requests benefit both the person struggling and their supporter
06:42 – Example 7: Asking loved ones to remind you of your value  
07:56 – Reminiscing and affirmation as healing tools  
08:21 – Example 8: Language for when you’re nearing your limit  
09:21 – Example 9: Reaching out to someone you don’t know well  
10:28 – Example 10: Direct language for suicidal crisis  
11:57 – Challenging stigma: why asking for help isn’t a burden  
12:37 – Why clear, direct words can save a life  
13:34 – How using these tools can reframe depression’s negative messages  
14:33 – Sam’s impact and why his phrasing resonates  
15:03 – Closing reflections and support reminders  

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