The Retirement Wisdom Podcast Stop People Pleasing – Hailey Magee
Will your next phase be your time? If you’re a people-pleaser, or know someone who is, you’ll want to hear from Hailey Magee, author of Stop People Pleasing and Find Your Power. It’s time to set better boundaries, advocate for your needs and priorities and start living the life you’ve imagined.
Hailey Magee joins us from Seattle.
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Bio
Hailey Magee is a certified coach who helps people around the world break the people-pleasing pattern and master the art of self-advocacy. Holding a credential from the International Coaching Federation and certified by Erickson Coaching International, Hailey has worked with over 500 private clients, helping recovering people-pleasers rediscover not only their power and agency, but their pleasure, joy, and sense of wonder. Her debut book, Stop People Pleasing and Find Your Power, was released by Simon & Schuster in 2024.
Hailey’s refreshingly nuanced perspectives on boundary-setting and self-advocacy have captured the attention of millions on social media. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, The Gottman Institute, Business Insider, and Newsweek, and she has facilitated workshops in partnership with WeWork, Women In Music, and a variety of other companies and organizations.
Hailey is dedicated to offering her clients clear, research-supported strategies for change. She resides in Seattle, WA.
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For More on Hailey Magee
Stop People Pleasing and Find Your Power
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Podcast Episodes You May Like
The Power of Saying No – Vanessa Patrick, PhD
The Joy of Saying No – Natalie Lue
Edit Your Life – Elisabeth Sharp McKetta
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About The Retirement Wisdom Podcast
There are many podcasts on retirement, often hosted by financial advisors with their own financial motives, that cover the money side of the street. This podcast is different. You’ll get smarter about the investment decisions you’ll make about the most important asset you’ll have in retirement: your time.
About Retirement Wisdom
I help people who are retiring, but aren’t quite done yet, discover what’s next and build their custom version of their next life. A meaningful retirement doesn’t just happen by accident.
Schedule a call today to discuss how The Designing Your Life process created by Bill Burnett & Dave Evans can help you make your life in retirement a great one – on your own terms.
About Your Podcast Host
Joe Casey is an executive coach who also helps people design their next life after their primary career and create their version of The Multipurpose Retirement.™ He created his own next chapter after a twenty-six-year career at Merrill Lynch, where he was Senior Vice President and Head of HR for Global Markets & Investment Banking. Today, in addition to his work with clients, Joe hosts The Retirement Wisdom Podcast, which thanks to his guests and loyal listeners, ranks in the top 1 % globally in popularity by Listen Notes, with over 1.6 million downloads. Business Insider has recognized Joe as one of 23 innovative coaches who are making a difference. He’s the author of Win the Retirement Game: How to Outsmart the 9 Forces Trying to Steal Your Joy.
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Wise Quotes
On People Pleasing
“It’s really just the act of putting other people first at our own detriment, chronically. So unlike regular generosity, which can feel really great and benefit our relationships, people pleasing tends to be a chronic pattern of behavior that really negatively affects us over time. And the costs are high. First of all, because we’re always centering other people and putting them first, we become really disconnected from ourselves. So we struggle to access our own dreams, our own desires, our own needs, and that can lead to life feeling kind of hollow and one dimensional. On top of that, our emotional health can suffer because we’re often over committed, burned out, resentful and disconnected.”
On Boundaries
“I think of these as the growing pains of strengthening a new muscle of learning how to prioritize ourselves. Like with any new workout, there’s some soreness after. But what we can do is we can find some reasons that might make that guilt or selfish feeling feel a little bit worth it. And for me, the best way to flip the script and really become more confident prioritizing yourself is really just to remember that over commitment and lead to resentment in our relationships and really harm them over time. So if you’re over-committed spending too many hours watching your grandkids, you might begin to resent your kids for asking so often. And if you’re over-committed to a certain volunteer organization, you might slowly begin to resent the people at the organization, because you’re so burnt out and taxed from all your giving. So what I like to remind us is that our boundaries, learning how to prioritize ourselves, are not anti-relationship. They’re pro-relationship because they create the distance at which you can really love and appreciate a person or an organization without resenting them. And I say in my book, research actually shows, which I found this so, so reaffirming, that people who practice healthy selfishness, quote unquote, which basically means those who have a healthy respect for their own needs and health, actually report having more positive relationships and more loving attitudes toward others, because they’re not constantly fatigued and burned out. So this really helps us flip the script.”
On Fear
“…the common thread is there’s fear. I’m doing this because I have to and I’m afraid. And that’s so different from kindness, which is really just, I’m doing this because I want to. I’m doing this because I want to help. And if you’re listening to this and you’re like, I’m still not sure, which one is it? The simplest little question you can ask yourself to discern which one is happening is just ask right now, do my insides match my outsides? Because when we’re being kind, they match our outside, smiling and giving and generosity is matched by an inner sense of just goodwill and contentment. But when we’re people pleasing outside, we’re smiling and happy and giving, but inside we’re shut down or resentful or frustrated or overwhelmed. And so that dissonance is what you want to watch out for.”