Recovering Evangelicals #126 – Ruth’s spiritual journey
Her spiritual journey was going perfectly well, until life circumstances blind-sided her and the “body of Christ” failed her, putting an end to her journey.
This week, another long-standing member of the podcast discussion group drops into our “studio” and shares her spiritual journey. She was perfectly comfortable for the first few decades with her very Conservative Fundamentalist Evangelical upbringing, fully accepting all of that theology without question. But when tragic life circumstances led the people closest to her — “the body of Christ” — to betray and abandon her, that’s when the deconstructive questions really began. Not only did those relationships unravel, but so did one theological tenet after another. A few decades later, she’s really not sure what she can believe or trust anymore. And yet she’s still “scratching the itch”.
Our discussion covered the following points:
- grew up Plymouth Brethren … very conservative
- “came to faith” as a five year old, purely out of the fear instilled by a Bible class teacher giving a graphic presentation of hell
- as a child, only hung around church kids
- was not allowed to go to movie theater because “you might miss the Rapture!”
- found at 15 that she was adopted, which sparked an identity crisis
- while at a church youth campfire event, she witnessed other people who seemed to have a much more emotional and expressive spirituality, which started her doubting about her salvation/spirituality
- looking back at her church environment: it felt safe because it was all she’d ever known … it was her social life
- one sermon heavy with “worm-theology” [you are good for nothing] had long-lasting impact
- up to her late teen years, she was completely comfortable with her spirituality and her religious worldview; that began to change, though
- cracks started to form in her belief system around:
- prayer didn’t seem to work; bounced back off the ceiling
- how the church — “the body of Christ” — mishandled a very difficult event in her personal life, resorting to judgment and ostracization, rather than love and support; this was a deeply felt betrayal
- after leaving that church and joining a new one, another difficult life circumstance was once again not handled well, and once again raised questions about her Christianity
- the podcast opened her eyes to morally questionable stories in the Old Testament (e.g., Episode #98)
- churches and Christians use language which is foreign or unclear to people who don’t live in the church
- despite giving up much of her original faith system, she’s still “scratching the itch” … listening to faith podcasts, reading religious books, discussing theological ideas
- Christians too easily and quickly “cherry-pick” Bible verses
- the oral history which preceded the writing of Scripture raised a lot of doubt about how much we can trust the Bible; questions about inerrancy, infallibility, inspiration, certainty; the “slippery slope”
- non-Biblical books can equally be a source of inspiration and spiritual development
- the “personal relationship,” free-will, and prayer
- still fully believes in a Higher Power … a creative life force
- need to become comfortable with mystery … not knowing … the anti-thesis of certainty
- some forms of Christianity can sound eerily cult-like; psychological control
- Ruth shared an example of how her early Christian self occasionally surprises her by popping up in her speech and thoughts
- the three main reasons that people give up on the Christian faith that they first grew up in:
- preferring to live a life of “sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll” (frequently the trope that people in the pews might think is the explanation)
- intellectual problems with the theology / Bible, and the assault on personal integrity that those bring
- religious abuse; the church community poorly representing “the body of Christ”
As always, tell us your thoughts on this topic …
If you’re interested in other personal life stories of people we’ve interviewed, check out this thematic collection.
Episode image by Tarek Darwish from Pixabay.
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