Nicole reflects on feeling judged by her mother and daughter based on appearance standards. The podcast delves into inter-generational conflicts, societal expectations, and the impact of feeling unseen. It discusses navigating love, acceptance, and setting boundaries in mother-daughter relationships.
39:45
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Quick takeaways
Nicole realizes the impact of her mother's judgment on her pursuit of being seen as a good daughter.
Through self-reflection, Nicole acknowledges the need to prioritize self-acceptance over external validation.
Deep dives
Letting Go of the Quest for Approval
Nicole discusses her tendency to walk away from situations that hurt her, especially when faced with conflict, whether the high-maintenance situations in friend groups or disagreements with family. Her mother and daughter play significant roles in triggering these reactions, with her mother wanting her to conform to a glamorous image that clashes with Nicole's values. Despite Nicole's efforts to prove herself as a good daughter, she realizes that her mother's continuous judgment creates internal conflict, leading her to question her pursuit of being seen as a good daughter.
Revealing Deep-Seated Desires and Expectations
Through conversations with guests, Bertolt uncovers the guests' deep-rooted desires and expectations, exemplified by Nicole's longing for her mother's approval and love. Nicole expresses her frustration with always trying to meet her mother's standards, seeking validation that she is a good daughter. However, Bertolt helps her realize that her relentless pursuit to be the ideal daughter stems from self-imposed pressure and unrealistic expectations, leading to inner turmoil and a constant need for acceptance.
Acceptance and Self-Reflection
Nicole struggles with the conflicting emotions of wanting to gain her mother's love and acceptance while feeling hurt by her constant judgment. Bertolt guides her towards self-reflection, urging her to confront her deep-rooted beliefs about being a good daughter and the impact of her mother's expectations. Through this introspection, Nicole is encouraged to consider letting go of the need to prove herself, thereby freeing herself from the emotional burden of seeking validation from her mother.
Transformation and Personal Growth
After the podcast, Nicole reflects on the insights gained from her conversation with Bertolt. She acknowledges the need for a paradigm shift in her perspective, realizing that she can't control others' opinions or behaviors. By accepting her mother's love in her own way and embracing her authentic self, Nicole experiences personal growth and improved relationships with her mother and daughter. This journey of self-discovery leads her to prioritize self-acceptance and diminish the need for external validation.
Nicole (60) often feels rejected or judged unfairly by both her mother and her oldest daughter. She is bothered by their emphasis on appearances, such as makeup and clothing, which makes her feel she never meets their standards. By reflecting on her relationship with her mother, she also gains insights into her relationship with her daughter.
Do you also have a personal problem and would you like to discuss it with Berthold in the podcast? We would love to have you as our guest!Click here for more info and the application form.
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