
Sons of Patriarchy Trauma and Healing in the Church
Mar 6, 2025
In this thought-provoking discussion, Chuck DeGroat, a professor and counselor specializing in spiritual abuse, explores the complex issues surrounding trauma and healing within the church. He defines spiritual and emotional abuse, highlighting the often invisible harm caused by misused power. Chuck shares insights on why women are particularly vulnerable and addresses the stigma men face when discussing their experiences. He outlines practical steps for those in abusive systems and emphasizes the importance of healthy church cultures, concluding with a focus on generational healing.
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Spiritual Abuse Is Invisible, Patterned Harm
- Spiritual abuse uses religious authority to manipulate, exploiting trust without leaving visible bruises.
- Chuck DeGroat calls it "death by a thousand cuts" that shows up as patterned, repeated harm over time.
Shepherding Means Service, Not Authoritarian Rule
- Scripture demands shepherds strengthen the weak and heal the sick rather than rule harshly and brutally.
- DeGroat contrasts servant leadership with authoritarian pastoral models that exploit power.
Discipline Should Invite, Not Coerce
- Treat discipline as discipleship: invite people to flourish rather than coerce or shame them.
- Use grace and clear care in disciplinary steps, avoiding manipulation and preserving dignity.



