Return to Heart 003: Abandonment: I Needed You and You Weren't There
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Sep 17, 2025 What defines abandonment? It's the deep feeling of needing someone who isn't there. Discover how emotional pain is processed like physical pain in our brains. Delve into subtle forms of abandonment and how everyday life events can trigger these feelings. The discussion explores allowing parents to be imperfect, the disciples' fear of abandonment, and the drastic choices people make to avoid loneliness. Concluding with a practical journaling takeaway, this conversation inspires healing from the painful echoes of our past.
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Abandonment Defined And Felt Physically
- The simplest definition of abandonment is: "I needed you and you weren't there for me."
- The brain treats emotional abandonment like physical pain, making it deeply wounding.
Composite Case Where Care Still Feels Like Abandonment
- Phil uses a composite clinical story where a sick child felt abandoned when a sibling later needed care.
- The limbic system recorded the emotional experience as trauma even though parents cared well.
Emotional Pain Maps To Physical Pain
- fMRI studies show romantic rejection activates the same brain regions as physical pain from burns.
- Emotional and physical pain register in the limbic system indistinguishably, explaining metaphors like "broken heart."
