“It is such a buzzword right now, which is good and bad,” says Dr. Z of the word narcissism. “We hear the terms narcissism and narcissistic abuse everywhere.” In this debut episode of “Next Up: Narcissism,” Dr. Z, a licensed clinical psychologist and narcissistic abuse expert, reconnects with her listeners to establish her mission: to provide accurate information for understanding narcissism and its impact on relationships, untangling the complexities of narcissistic abuse.
Delving into the ABCs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), Dr. Z gives an overview of key concepts and behaviors linked to narcissism and narcissistic abuse. She discusses the narcissist's routine avoidance of accountability as well as their attempts to socially isolate their partner. She also explains concepts like gaslighting and DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender), a common strategy used to confuse and manipulate people into doubting their own reality.
Dr. Z also discusses the absence of empathy within NPD and how this absence manifests into early relationship behaviors such as future faking and love bombing. Additional relational behaviors common to NPD such as hoovering and boundary violations disguised as "you’re my soulmate" are also explained.
This episode also touches on the harsh realization one faces as they come to truly understand the full extent of the abuse they have endured along with the often quiet suffering secondary to fear, shame, and isolation.
Dr. Z aims to educate and empower her listeners with accurate knowledge, skills, and strategies to not only recognize the red flags of narcissistic abuse early on, but to also begin their healing process.
Quotes
- “There are so many TikTok and Instagram therapists out there that aren’t really therapists and giving inaccurate information. What I do think is essential to treatment when I'm working with somebody who is a survivor of narcissistic abuse are survivor stories. They are so unbelievably important in the journey of healing. In addition to survivor stories, you must make sure that the information you're getting, the treatment that you're getting, the suggestions that you're getting, and the strategies that you're getting are from a qualified mental health professional who is a specialist in this field.” (03:27 | Dr. Z)
- “We know narcissists are routinely avoiding accountability. They will not take accountability for any of their behaviors or the hurtful consequences of their behaviors. They just won't do it.” (07:04 | Dr. Z)
- “We care about other people. We care about their emotions. We want other people to be well. Narcissists don't—only if it benefits them. But again, it's fake empathy. Narcissists are amazing at faking empathy.” (13:41 | Dr. Z)
- “Hoovering is a calculated move in which the narcissist does something to suck you back into the abuse cycle.” (23:40 | Dr. Z)
- “Being in a relationship with somebody who has a narcissistic personality disorder, whether it's a parent, a friend, a colleague, your spouse, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, it doesn't matter. It's going to constantly feel like a yo-yo. It's a constant push and pull.” (54:50 | Dr. Z)
Links
Connect with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman:
https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/
https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/
https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist