305: AI Fears, Frustrated Serial monogamist - Am I a whore? Daughter is wasting life living with me, Looking for your hometown

In today's episode, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk discuss artifical intelligence and some of their fears for the future.  Then at 26:15, the discussion turns to answering these listener questions: 

1. I am a frustrated serial monogamist female looking for my magic 10%. For the past six years, I’ve been in several long-term relationships. I enter every relationship with the hope that he is the one and the desire and dedication to make it last. However, after a year or so, I gradually realize that the person isn’t right for me, become disillusioned and fall out of love with him, and then am poached out by the next prospect. However, I never mean for this to happen, and it is painful every time.  I am truly pair-bond oriented, but I am worried that my “inability to settle down” is sending casual mating signals. I am a very demanding person in all areas of life, including this one, which inadvertently makes me fall out of love with someone because they don’t meet my standards. I was like this even before discovering evolutionary psychology, but especially now. However, this has led to accusations from my parents of being unable to be satisfied by one man - crassly put, that I’m a whore. And I’m worried that future male partners will see it that way.  How do I continue dating and exploring relationships in order to find that magic 10% without ruining my reputation? Should I avoid being intimate with someone for many months until I’m sure that they meet all of my standards? How do I avoid leading both myself and the other person on, and not trick myself into thinking that this will last forever? How do I cope with the fact that I may never find someone who makes me happy forever in that fairytale way?

2. My 35 year old daughter refuses to grow up, get a job and move out. She has a university degree but she doesn’t want to use it. It also seems like she doesn’t have any goals for herself. She says she wants to live with me forever. She also doesn’t want to get married or have children. It doesn’t bother me that she lives with me, but I feel like she’s wasting her life. How do I help her? What do I do? Please don’t tell me to kick her out or charge rent because I won’t do it. I love her too much and am too conscientious and agreeable.

3.My husband and I currently live in New York but want to move somewhere that better fits our values and lifestyle. We feel “politically homeless” and would like to avoid the insanity of either end of the political spectrum. We work remotely, are college-educated, vegan, plan to homeschool, and are non-religious… we know that no place is perfect, but would love to hear your thoughts on whether this warm, friendly, community-centered place exists, or if we are just looking for a unicorn.

 

Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

Host: Nathan Gershfeld               

Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D.

Podcast website:  www.BeatYourGenes.org

True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us

Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus