Are You Really Comfortable With Silence Internally And Externally

Lee discusses the importance of silence in both the external and internal world. He emphasises the need to create spaces for silence in meetings to allow people time to think and truly engage in the conversation. Lee challenges listeners to consider their comfort level with silence and how it affects their ability to listen and ask better questions. He suggests avoiding padding or justifying questions, and instead giving people the space and time to think before exploring their understanding. Lee also explores the concept of quieting the chatter in one's own mind to be fully present and actively listen. He encourages listeners to become more comfortable with silence, as it can lead to better answers and a deeper understanding of others.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Creating space for silence: In meetings and conversations, it is important to save a seat for silence. Allowing people time to think without filling the silence with unnecessary words or padding on questions can lead to more thoughtful and meaningful responses.
• Comfort with silence: It is essential to assess one's comfort level with silence. Some individuals may feel nervous or uncomfortable with silence and tend to fill it with laughter, additional words, or noises. Recognising and addressing this discomfort can help create a more conducive environment for effective communication.
• External silence: When asking questions, it is important to be comfortable with silence in the external world. Avoid questions with unnecessary justifications or explanations. Instead, ask concise questions and give people the space and time to think before responding. This can lead to more genuine and thoughtful answers.
• Internal silence: To truly listen and be present in a conversation, it is crucial to quiet the chatter in one's internal mind. Starting with an empty cup, emptying the mind of biases and preconceived notions, and focusing solely on listening can enhance understanding and engagement in the conversation.
• Trusting safe space: Creating a trusting safe space is crucial for effective communication. Actively listening and showing genuine interest in others' thoughts and ideas can foster trust and encourage open and honest communication. Being comfortable with silence plays a significant role in creating this safe space.

BEST MOMENTS

"If I didn't [think every episode was important], then it wouldn't be an episode, so that's a silly thing for me to say." 

"Often, the only thinking time that people have is when somebody else is speaking, and that means, that they are not actually engaged fully and listening truly to what other people are saying." 

"Don't pad your questions out. Don't justify the reason why you've asked the question. Give people space and time to think about it first and then explore." 

"Start with an empty cup, means empty your mind of all of those thoughts and then just ask the first question and then your second question has got to be the mother of, I guess the answer that the person gives has got to be the mother of your next question, not your internal chatter." 

"Silence is just as important, if not more important, than what you say. So how can you become more comfortable with silence, both in the outside world and in your internal mind?" -

 

Business Problems Solved Podcast

You can contact Lee Houghton on 07813342194 Lee@leehoughton.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/lhoughton/

For the last 15 years, I have been a multi-sector internal or external business improvement consultant, building the improved capability of individuals, teams and businesses.

In my spare time, I enjoy spending time with my two young children Jack & India. I also enjoy listening to and reading business & personal development material.

Lee Houghton is “THE Business Problem Solver”, a Management Consultant, CX Specialist and Keynote Speaker.