Hustle Is How I Proved I Mattered

What if the hustle that's wearing you out is actually how you learned to matter?

In this final part of my three-part conversation with my friend Jalon, we get honest about why slowing down can feel so threatening. For those of us who weren't seen for who we were, doing became the way we proved we deserved to exist.

I share about the moment I stopped blaming my body for breaking down and started thanking it. My body didn't betray me. It was the only thing that could get my attention. I was the kind of person who needed those health issues because otherwise I would never have listened.

Jalon and I use the car running out of gas analogy to talk about what it looks like to actually listen before you're stranded on the side of the road. Spoiler: it's not about listening perfectly. It's about catching the warning light a little sooner next time.

In this episode you'll hear more about:

• Why hustle feels like safety: For those of us who weren't seen authentically, we created ways to matter through doing. The more you carry, the less you sleep, the more you prove you're worth keeping around.
• When your body quits before you do: Thousands of patients I've worked with have bodies that got sick as the only way to make them slow down. And they still don't see it. They just hate their bodies more.
• Taking full responsibility changed everything: I stopped feeling betrayed by my body and realized I was exactly the kind of person who needed those health issues. Otherwise I would've just found more caffeine, more exercise, more emotional eating.
• The gas tank analogy for listening to your body: Why do we see the fuel light and try to gauge how much further we can push? What if we just stopped at the next exit instead of ending up stranded?
• Balance was all I wanted: I didn't want the go-stop pattern anymore. I just wanted to know I'd get to my destination without wondering if I'd make it.

Hustle isn't a discipline problem. It's often how we learned to matter. And now we get to reprogram that.

🎙️ Check out this week's main episode, Episode 153: The Biology of Burnout: Why Pushing Through Stops Working

💭 Try this practice this week: Notice when you're pushing past a warning sign. Ask yourself: "Am I hustling right now because this matters, or because I'm trying to prove that I matter?"

Catch Part 1 and Part 2 of this conversation here. Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. It helps others find trauma-informed care.