Parenting Without Power Struggles 3:40 Raising Kids Who Can Handle Differences with Kelsey Blahnik
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Dec 3, 2025 In this engaging conversation, Kelsey Blahnik, a clinician and author renowned for her work with trauma survivors, discusses her book, The AND Way. Kelsey highlights how parents can cultivate open-mindedness and empathy in their children. She shares insights on separating behavior from identity to nurture understanding and emphasizes the importance of a 'clay mindset'—the belief that people can change. With practical tips for navigating challenging conversations, she encourages parents to model curiosity and compassion in today's polarized world.
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Holding Two Truths At Once
- Kelsey developed The AND Way from reconciling competing values in her own life, starting with food and expanding to relationships.
- The model helps hold two valid truths at once instead of swinging to extremes.
Separate Behavior From Identity
- Stop labeling people as fixed types and separate behaviors from identity when talking with children.
- Ask how someone became that way to invite curiosity and reduce villain/hero thinking.
Adopt A Clay Mindset
- Teach a clay mindset: people can change and grow, not remain fixed like stone or concrete.
- Use language that admits struggle and growth, e.g., "I'm trying; I'm learning."
