“This was the beginning of evil, for if no man is a hero to his valet, much less can he remain a god for long in the eyes of a curious woman.  Here, as in other matters, familiarity breeds contempt.”  I didn’t realize that when the great English adventure writer Rider Haggard wrote those words, he was quoting the German 18th century philosopher Hegel, of whom in general, I don’t think much but who did write these good words, “No man is a hero to his valet. This is not because the hero is not a hero, but because the valet is a valet.”  Anyway, a husband and wife see far more of one another than a valet sees of his boss so with all that familiarity, how can they avoid developing contempt for one another?  The answer goes far beyond bathroom privacy and sexual restraint and provides an indispensable guide to marital happiness and durability. But it isn’t easy. 

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