Complex with Kimberley Wilson What is avoidant attachment?
Jan 21, 2026
Dr Fatoumata Jatta, a clinical psychologist leading an NHS crisis service in West London, talks about avoidant attachment and its roots in early caregiving. She explains how it shows up as self-reliance and discomfort with closeness. The conversation covers childhood origins, real-life relationship patterns, and ways safe relationships and therapy can support change.
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Test If Independence Is Avoidance
- Try noticing whether you prefer independence because intimacy feels risky rather than because you truly don't need connection.
- Consider therapy or safe relationships to practice closeness and repair when issues arise.
Listener 'Leanne' Repeats Relationship Pattern
- Leanne describes being successful at work but repeatedly losing relationships because partners call her aloof and unemotional.
- She recognises she shuts down socially and wonders if avoidant attachment explains the pattern.
Calm Outside, Distressed Inside
- Avoidant adults often show calm externally but register the same internal distress as others when stressed.
- Their apparent composure can mask significant unaddressed vulnerability.