Find Intentional Time with Kelley Tyan

Kelley Tyan’s book and podcast, both titled, ‘Addicted to the Climb’, inspires, empowers, and encourages you to keep on climbing no matter what mountains you face. Her success as a faith-based entrepreneur, author, coach and mother have given Kelley a well-versed knowledge of the importance in setting intentional time alone, and with family and significant others.

Brett Gilliland:

Welcome to the Circuit of Success. I’m your host, Brett Gilland, and today I’ve got Kelly Tyan with me. Kelly, how you doing? 

Kelley Tyan:

I’m doing great. How are you, Brett? 

Brett Gilliland:

I am doing well. It’s good to be with you. It’s a little gloomy and rainy here. It feels like it’s been foggy for like a month. It’s, it’s not really been, but it feels like it.

How’s the weather out in Boston?

Kelley Tyan:

It’s freezing. However, we have sunshine today, which is a plus. 

Brett Gilliland:

Oh, it’s beautiful. We have not seen that for a while and it’s supposed, are you guys gonna get the snow that’s coming in? Supposedly? 

Kelley Tyan:

I’m not sure. 

Brett Gilliland:

Okay. 

Kelley Tyan:

We just got our first snow on Sunday, which is always fun. And until it turns, you know, brown and muddy . 

Brett Gilliland:

Exactly. You gotta run the car through it. 

Kelley Tyan:

Yes, yes, but I would love to have a white Christmas. That would be amazing.

Brett Gilliland:

That would be amazing. Well, some fingers crossed. Fingers crossed. So you are a leading faith-based entrepreneur, a coach, a speaker, an author. A, uh, podcaster, which is awesome.

You and I have something in common there. Um, and so, uh, and your book and your podcast is called ‘Addicted to the Climb’, uh, which is a faith fuel movement that, uh, that inspires, empowers and creates courage to keep on climbing no matter what mountains you face. I love hearing that. And that’s when we were connected through LinkedIn.

Uh, I saw that. I’m like, we gotta get her on the podcast. And, and here we are. So, but if you can tell us a little bit about yourself, Kelly, kinda what’s made you the woman you are today. 

Kelley Tyan:

Well, thank you so much for having me again, and what made me, what makes me the woman I am today is just everything that I’ve been through in life.

I’m a breast cancer survivor. I’ve been through grief. I lost my mom. I was an only child. Um, my dad had a rare blood cancer, so all the trials and hardships I’ve been through made me realize I am on the climb. I’m not going backwards. I [00:02:00] wanna keep moving forward and how can I help others and take them along with me?

If I can get through these things, you certainly can too. I’m no different than you. And um, so that’s what really my messaging is all about. And that’s really the woman I am today. It’s really through everything we go through is, I say at first it might have broke me, but then it built me. 

Brett Gilliland:

Yeah.

Kelley Tyan:

If you believe that. And so, I believe that, and I wanna keep climbing no matter what I face. There’s no giving up. 

Brett Gilliland:

Yeah. What, how old were you when your mom passed?

Kelley Tyan:

She passed five years ago. 

Brett Gilliland:

Okay. 

Kelley Tyan:

So I’m not telling you how old I was. 

Brett Gilliland:

Okay. That’s a trick question, right? Uh, yeah, I, I was thinking maybe even as a child, which my gosh is an only child, and, uh, losing your mom, it’s never easy.

But losing ’em early would be tough too. So, so breast cancer survivor. So a little side note, my wife and I started a foundation for cancer in 2007, so we’re going back ways now. Uh, and it was started because of breast [00:03:00] cancer. Actually, my wife’s mom, grandma, and two of her aunts were all diagnosed within breast, with breast cancer within like a seven month period.

Kelley Tyan:

Wow.

Brett Gilliland:

And, and so we started this charity and it’s been amazing. Um, ever since 2007, the people, the community that come out and support it. And then you fast forward six weeks after we started our foundation, my dad had cancer. You know, he is gotten it a second time. Her dad’s got cancer, you know, now we have aunt’s, uncles, friends, loved ones.

It’s just, you know, I always, when anytime I speak about cancer, I’ll ask them, everybody in the room to stand up that’s been impacted by this disease. And you know, the whole room stands up, right? Whether it’s yourself or a loved one. It, it’s just, it’s incredible. It does not discriminate. Cancer sucks. And, uh, so awesome hats off to you for being a breast cancer survivor.

We love that. And, uh, it’s a whole other podcast that we can have on that, I’m sure, but we’ll leave that for another day. Um, so if you can, why don’t we, I’d like to start with just kind of habits. You know, you coach, uh, men and women, but mostly women, I think all over the, you know, the world probably, and, and, you’re [00:04:00] seeing some things that need to go on in the crazier world that we live in today.

But what, what do you see are those two or three no miss items, uh, that people really need to be focusing on every single day to live their best life? 

Kelley Tyan:

Well, the number one thing I think to live their best life is people need to always have a vision in, um, a future look into what they want. If there’s no vision, then they cannot be successful, no matter what.

We can plan and have goals, but I believe in really believing and seeing ourselves as the success that we wanna be or whatever it is we’re trying to achieve. I think it all comes down to having a vision. And that’s where it starts. Because I know for me, I knew I wanted, I saw myself speaking on stages. I saw myself constantly having the vision of mentoring women, coaching women.

And I focused on that [00:05:00] all the time. Every single day I woke up, I thought about it. I, it was always on my mind and that’s what I worked towards. And I think that’s how I, you can make things happen for yourself. 

Brett Gilliland:

Yeah. Well, I know we talked about, you said, uh, or I said faith-based, entrepreneur, coach, speaker, all that stuff, but, you know, faith-based, let’s go there.

The, the Bible even talks about right, without a vision, people perish. And, and our firm’s name is called Visionary Wealth Advisors and what the future could and will be like. Uh, cuz I, I agree. I mean, I think without that vision, without the end in mind, who knows where we’re going and on the, you know, no pun intended with the rainy day out there, but you know, when it rains in our personal lives or our professional lives, That vision for me over the last two decades has kept me going on what I’m trying to build, and I’m constantly working on that.

So when you hear that, let’s, let’s dive deeper into that. In a vision, how do people go out and find that, and what steps can we take to, to create that? 

Kelley Tyan:

Well, I wanna backtrack a minute because I believe there are two different kind of people out there. The ones who we can experience the same rainy day.

And that’s what made me think about it. And one person is going to use the rain and say, I’m gonna go out for a run today in. Run in the rain and I’m gonna get my workout in even though it’s rainy and cold, and the other person is going to say, ah, it’s raining, it’s cold. I don’t wanna move. I’m, ah, they’re gonna use rain as an excuse. So that’s…

Brett Gilliland:

That’s a great point.

Kelley Tyan:

That shows me, you know, there’s what kind of person do you wanna be? Do you wanna have a vision of being, I can use healthy and fit for this example; Do you want, if you wanna be healthy and fit, then no matter rain or shine, you’re out there doing your workout. The other person is just thinking about it, wishing for it, not taking action.

They don’t have a vision of being healthy and fit, so they’re staying home and they’re in the same place they are they were four months ago, eight months ago, wondering why. So it really comes down to making a [00:07:00] choice. How do you wanna live your life? Am I gonna be an action taker in the rain or the shine? Am I gonna keep climbing no matter what, because we can make excuses all day long, right?

Brett Gilliland:

Yeah. 

Kelley Tyan:

All of us. But we have to make that decision that I see myself healthy and strong. How am I gonna get there? And to get there, you have to take action. Set up habit. And just move. Just go. 

Brett Gilliland:

Yeah. And I think it’s, it’s good. Especially this time of the year, I mean this, when this podcast airs, it’ll be probably the end of December, beginning of January.

And I think about, it’s always a great time to reflect on the year, what we’ve just learned from our past. And I talk about the three Ps, your past, your peers, and your potential. And so let’s talk about the past. What did we just learn from 2022, right? How have we come out of this pandemic? How did we come out of a year with good economy, bad economy, depending on what type of business you’re in. But let’s look forward, and I think, you know, one question I would ask myself with a journal and a ink pen, if I’m somebody listening to this and struggles with this type of stuff, is, what does success mean to me? Right? What does success mean to me?

And I don’t mean financial success, I just mean success, period. And so when I asked that to the people listening, I’ll ask it to you as well, what does success mean to you?

Kelley Tyan:

I love that question because I take the finances right out of it. Always. 

Brett Gilliland:

Yep.

Kelley Tyan:

Because success to me is really about, am I fulfilled? Am I doing what I’m passionate about doing? Am I serving other people? Am I making an impact somewhere? Whether you are, you might not be a speaker or a leader, but yes, you’re a leader in your family. Are you leading the right way? Are you feeling fulfilled in your life? So, I think that’s really sums up what success is to me, living an abundant life.

And you mentioned I am faithful, so is my faith on point? Am I not wavering in my faith? And that to me, Is how I feel successful every [00:09:00] single day. 

Brett Gilliland:

Yeah. So if we could, I’m gonna go through my ‘F’ to the fifth power, if that’s okay. And I think you’re gonna connect with these, that’s why I wanna spend some time on it.

So, anytime, and you and I busy people, you get asked to do things and I, I filter it through these five buckets. If I’m saying yes or if I’m saying no. Does it move the needle in this part of my life? And so ‘F’ the fifth power, first one is faith, so how does that play out for you in the business world, but also personally?

Uh, I should have looked at this. I apologize. I Oh yeah. You’re a mother of two children, uh, you’re married and, and so how does that play out for you in your business life, in your personal life? How’s faith play in that? 

Kelley Tyan:

Oh, faith is the foundation of everything in my whole entire world. I just have a really strong faith in, in my, let’s take my family life.

You have to have faith or else 

Brett Gilliland:

Yeah.

Kelley Tyan:

For me, you, you crumble, you have, you let, wary, fear, anxiety. I mean, I [00:10:00] guess you can say in both your business and in your family life, if we, if we let fear overtake us, we’re not gonna, the needle’s not gonna move. We’re gonna be stuck because we’re too fearful to take that next step.

So, that’s where faith comes in. And when I lean, when you lean into your faith, You have you. If you have faith that is small as a mustard seed, it can move mountains. You just have to truly believe that. And having faith in yourself, it’s easy to say, but it’s back to that vision. If you are, if you feel you’re meant for more, you have to believe you’re meant for more.

Take the action that goes along with those, the path you wanna be on an just keep going in faith that you will accomplish what you said you would do, if you keep moving forward. So faith to me is wraps up. That’s how I, I wake up in faith. I try not to let, of course I have fear, of course I have teenage kids.

 So sometimes, you know, you’re anxious about your kids driving and all that other stuff. Worry what they’re doing. I mean, but you can let that take you down in a minute. 

Brett Gilliland:

Yeah. 

Kelley Tyan:

And I, I, it’s a choice at the end of the day to choose faith over fear in everything we’re doing. 

Brett Gilliland:

Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Hey, how, how old are the kiddos?

Kelley Tyan:

I have a 23 year old and a 16 year old, and I need a lot of faith with those kids. 

Brett Gilliland:

I’m with you. I’ve got a, uh, 17, 15, 12, and eight in,uh. You know, but I’m, it’s funny because now I’m the old parent, like when I’m hanging around the eight year old families, you know, at school or whatever it may be, I’m like, oh man, I’m that guy.

Right? They all look like little kids. And it’s, it’s awesome to see the, not the kids, but the parents look like kids. Mm-hmm. Um, but it is, I always tell ’em, big kids, big problems, little kids, little problems. And it, it is crazy, isn’t it? And you think about those things. It’s scary. 

Kelley Tyan:

Yes. I just, I, I was just talk, I did a podcast with [00:12:00] the other day.

We were just talking about that and I said, between the ages of maybe four, 15 and 17. You know, the driver’s license. I mean, you can be up all night. 

Brett Gilliland:

Yeah.

Kelley Tyan:

Fear and worry. Yeah. As if you have children under 10, they’re home sleeping, they’re still listening to you. They’re still pretty much following your household’s rules.

But yes, hang on to those years because it does change, which every stage is so much fun with children, but having a strong faith that they will be okay. It is all we can do.

Brett Gilliland:

Yeah. Yeah. That, that five year old fear is that they’re gonna choke on the Lego or something, right? And then it’s uh, or that, what time are they coming home?

Are they driving? It’s cloudy or it’s, uh, you know, it’s dark out, all that stuff. So it’s faith we hit that box. That’s great. I love that. I think it’s, uh, what I hear is it’s a huge part of your life. Um, and I’m assuming you’re reading, whether it’s in the Bible, you’re reading books, uh, it’s daily prayer. I mean, all those things are happening for you every day.

Right? Uh, okay, so [00:13:00] what about family? So now how do we, again, in this busy schedule of life, we wanna run a business. We wanna be an entrepreneur, a, a teacher, a lawyer, whatever it may be. We wanna be successful. But how do we also then focus on family? 

Kelley Tyan:

I, it all comes down to being intentional when it comes to family because the phones can take over.

I mean, we can be busy all day doing our business, especially entrepreneurs out there. We are constantly looking at our phones with email, but I think being very intentional about quality time, whether it’s, I feel as parents, they put a lot of stress. If they’re not spending an hour, I say, take the stress off.

Spend 10 minutes of quality time with your spouse or your children, maybe more with your spouse, but. So in a day that, that we are, we’re all very busy. Our children are very busy, but I think it’s quality time and being intentional about that time can really just bring the happiness. You can go to bed feeling better at the end of the day if you are intentional about doing that, because the day can get away from you and you’re like, I didn’t even talk to my kid today, right?

Brett Gilliland:

Yeah, that’s right. I’m just writing that stuff down here. Sorry. So I, I think too, on the family side for me, I do an exercise every quarter of, I look back at my, you know, you grab your phone here and you look at all the pictures that you’ve taken over the last 90 days, and I go through and I write down all the moments that I just shared with my family, right?

Whether it’s just my wife or my wife and kids, just a kid, whatever it may be. I literally write them down in a journal every month and then I plan the next 90 days. Or what are those things that we’re gonna go do? Right? So it may be as simple as what concerts are coming to St. Louis this quarter, right?

Or whatever it 

is that you want to go do. But your, to your point, I’m just piggyback on what you said is be intentional. I had a business leader tell me yesterday, he, you know, we, as we’re coaching him through the end of the year and in the next year, he said, I, next year is the year of self-care. And he goes, I’ve got to make my [00:15:00] family a bigger priority.

He’s a great family guy, but he is like, I gotta make it a bigger priority, bigger things as kids get older, right? And so that’s just one exercise that I think is good. What, what is it that you may do for intentional stuff to make sure the family’s a focus? 

Kelley Tyan:

The same thing. I, we are so intentional about taking a family, you know, a couple family trips to, because my daughter doesn’t live in the house, she’s out living in the city.

Brett Gilliland:

Yeah. 

Kelley Tyan:

So we have to be very intentional planning. When can the four of us take a weekend or a night? I like to get out of the house. Take ’em out there, go to a hotel, take ’em to Florida, wherever we go. And um, that’s very, that’s at the top of my priority list. Yeah. Every quarter to be with my family.

Brett Gilliland:

Love it. 

Kelley Tyan:

As all four of us. Yes. 

Brett Gilliland:

Where, where’s the spot in Florida? You gotta a go to spot or you switch it around? 

Kelley Tyan:

We do. We, well, we do because my dad is there. He’s in Delray. So, Fort Lauderdale, Delray. 

Brett Gilliland:

Yeah. Sure. Awesome. We have an office  in Palm Beach Gardens, so not too far from there. 

Kelley Tyan:

Oh. And my cousin’s in Palm Beach. So I’m there all the time. Mm-hmm. 

Brett Gilliland:

Awesome. I love it. So, faith, family. Um, now we talk about fitness. How, how has that play out in your life?

Kelley Tyan:

Okay, so coming from a fitness background, I’ve been a coach in fitness and health since 2008. It is another top priority for me. I work out every single day. I am, I try to be the example in my own family for health, and it is a priority for my husband and my son and my daughter.

So , fitness is at the top of the list. Those are the three. Family, I mean, well, faith for me is first, family and my health and fitness because without our health we have nothing. So we focus a lot on health and fitness and working out. Even as a family, sometimes we go to the gym all together, which is so nice.

Brett Gilliland:

Yeah, I love that. And, and I think of that in, um, you know, the, the accountability there is huge, right? I mean, when you think about your family, if they see mom doing it. And, and I would say that that’s where my inspiration, my wife is very disciplined with that stuff. Just being healthy, right? Staying, staying active and all that stuff.

And I don’t want to be the guy that’s, you know, 90 years old and, and not being able to do it or dead right? I, my goal is to play golf at 100. And so, uh, you know, doing what I do for a living, it’s wealth management stuff. As I talk about your wealth and your health and how they’re so interlocked is if you have the best health in the world, but you never saved a dime. Well, guess what? Your health is probably gonna decline because you have no money. You can’t go do anything. Right? And vice versa, if you have all the money in the world, you worked your butt off, but you didn’t take care of yourself, guess what? Your money’s gonna go away because it’s gonna be paying for the doctor bills.

Right? Or you’re gonna be dead. So those two things, I, in my opinion, go hand in hand. And so how much time should we be [00:18:00] spending knowing what you know? Uh, for us, you know, 40 year olds, 50 year olds that listen to this stuff, and maybe even the 30 year olds that need to start to worry about this stuff; cardio versus strength versus mobility. 

Kelley Tyan:

Well, this is what I say, you have to first find something you love to do. If you don’t like boot camps, then don’t. It’s gonna be agonizing to go to a boot camp class. You have to find what you like to do. Movement is the key, whether you’re going for a walk outside, whether you take 20 minutes and just move your body in front of the tv.

I know a lot of people stress out about trying to fit into workout. “Oh, I don’t have time.”, “I can’t go to the gym.”, “Oh, I’m too intimidated.” You can do something at home. Like I said in the beginning, yeah, there’s always an excuse that can be made for any of it, but I say find something that lights you up, whether it is going for a walk, walk your dog. Just do something for at least 20 minutes, three to five times a week, so [00:19:00] you’re moving your body, because most of us are sitting 90% of the time.

Brett Gilliland:

Right.

Kelley Tyan:

And without movement, like you said, our joints we have to take care of. We’re gonna be, you don’t wanna wake up with stiff knees when you’re 45. And that comes down to…

Brett Gilliland:

Now, wait a second. How do you know I’m 45 with stiff knees? Dang it. How do you know that? 

Kelley Tyan:

Well, cause I’ve been working with people for years and I see it and they don’t wanna move.

And it’s very important, like you said, our health is our wealth. Because without it, we can have all the money in the world. That doesn’t matter when you’re sick at home because you didn’t take care of yourself. 

Brett Gilliland:

That’s right. 

Kelley Tyan:

So what needs to be priority in movement And you don’t have to do crazy classes, it’s just moving.

Brett Gilliland:

Yep. Great. Great feedback. So fun. So the fourth ‘F’ is fun. I mean, you gotta schedule fun in my opinion, right? And, and not only just schedule it, but have fun, man. There’s so much bad crap going on in this world. [00:20:00] My business partner ,Tim Hammond, and I talk about all the time is just have fun. Just be, have some joy at work, laugh.

You know, and I think so many times if, if we don’t have that in our culture, be the person in that culture that can bring the fun. So thoughts, feedback on that. 

Kelley Tyan:

I love this. So my husband is the fun in the family, easy. He’s, he loves planning things and I’m more, I’m pretty content being home, so I have to give him props and credit for always scheduling fun.

We actually, we’re going to meet Kevin Hart this weekend.

Brett Gilliland:

Oh, nice. 

Kelley Tyan:

He schedules the fun. I am not in any lack for fun over here at all because I have to say it’s my husband, if it wasn’t for him. He schedules vacations and let’s go do this, Kelly, and which I’m so appreciative. I really am. Cause you’re right, I would probably not schedule as much fun if he didn’t push me. So, I really think it’s truly important. It changes our dynamic and our family. It changes the relationship. When you schedule fun. You go back to being silly. Just what you said, you have to, you can’t be serious all the time. Life is not supposed to be serious all the time.

Brett Gilliland:

Yeah. Well, and as you know, having a 23 year old I I, I noticed as it seems like, it just goes like that, that the, the fun for me is also, I can also call it the experiences, right? That, they go so fast. I just want to enjoy as much as I possibly can. I was blessed. My parents did that with me. I have a lot of great experiences that I was able to do as a kid.

I want to keep that going, right, into my, into my children and, and so, but it goes so fast. So I think again, it comes back to the intentional, you, you mentioned it earlier, we gotta be intentional with this stuff. So, And it’s good to have a CFO, Chief Fun Officer, of your house, your husband, right? So.

Kelley Tyan:

I, I have that for sure.

Brett Gilliland:

And then the last one, I call it firm, but because that’s what we have as a firm, but it could be work, but that’s my fifth ‘F’ is firm. How do we get dialed in? Now, kind of what you do is helping people through your coaching business. What are the things that we needed to be doing on the quote, unquote rainy day?

Since we keep talking about that, what are the things at work we need to be doing on maybe days you don’t want to do it? 

Kelley Tyan:

Well, it all comes down to we, we’ve already talked about being intentional for what you, your goals are, but it’s really, I used to. People would say to me, “Kelly, how are you so motivated? And I really had to let go of trying to find my motivation and I started relying on my routine and my habits that are in place. So I think it’s setting up your habits. What, you know, what we’re all different. My habits in the morning, I had to start setting up a morning routine because I used to start my day in chaos and running out the door and it wasn’t serving me. I was just too flustered. So I was intentional about setting my [00:23:00] morning routine, which is reading my Bible, being quiet, letting, keeping the noise out so I can hear my own thoughts, be in some prayer. But I think it’s really about setting yourself up for success that way, and setting up habits, putting habits in place, and that’s really how you’ll find your motivation in life.

Brett Gilliland:

Yeah. 

Kelley Tyan:

Don’t you agree?

Brett Gilliland:

I do, I do agree. And I think it’s, it’s setting up your priorities and, and I’ll talk about focus 90 here in a minute, but do you, do you find that you, you do that the same time every day? Do you beat yourself up or this morning routine? Is it get up and do things before the kids get up?

Like, what’s that, what’s that chaotic life that we all live? What’s that like for you? 

Kelley Tyan:

It’s, I don’t beat myself up, but it, it’s, I, you know, I have pretty much three non-negotiables in my life and those are: wake up with prayer, my quiet time, my fitness, my faith, um, and of course my work, maybe there’s four.

But yeah, that’s really what it comes down to is, um, not putting pressure on myself. If I don’t get it in first thing in the morning, which I like to start my day with quiet time. Sometimes it doesn’t work that way, so I don’t beat myself up, but I make sure I do get it in. At some point in, because it makes me feel successful when I do that.

I feel happy. I get my happiness and fulfillment from that, from my fitness, from my workouts, from my morning time, and so those are non-negotiables for me. Yep.

Brett Gilliland:

Would you say it gets easier? We just talked about big kids, big problems, little kids, little problems. But what I’ve experienced as my youngest is now eight, is, you know, can have the alarm set and get up on his own and do the, brushing his teeth and get dressed and make his bed, you know, all the things, right? I, I’m thinking about that mom or dad right now that’s listening to this and they’re like, “Dude, you guys don’t understand, man, my kids are, you know, 1, 3, 5 and whatever. Right? One, three, and five and, and I’m brutally tired in the morning. It’s, you know, getting up in the middle of the night and it’s like, and you guys sit here and talk about this morning routine.

Right? Well, that sounds fine and dandy, but some people just quite frankly aren’t in that spot that they can do that right now. So what’s that like? What advice would you have for that mom or that dad that’s 33 years old, right? And dealing with the stuff that we dealt with years ago.

Kelley Tyan:

Oh man, do I remember those days.

First of all, I’m praying for you right now, but no. I just think having you have to schedule time for some kind of rest. Which, I define rest as release every single thing. We all have pressures. We all have stress. The kids, you have a three, five, and a seven year old. We’re tired parents. But if you are not intentional, how many times are we gonna say that about scheduling five minutes of rest. Go up into your bedroom, shut the door. Everybody can find a way to [00:26:00] just alleviate some of that pressure in the day. But, again, it all comes down to a choice. You can run yourself ragged day after day after day, but if you are not the one scheduling that rest saying to your spouse or your kids ,even, I need a minute.

I just need a few minutes to myself, then you’re not gonna have the minutes. So you have to. Ask for it, right? You have to make sure your family knows, I need some time. I have to schedule that in, and I’m going to be intentional about it because it’s good for my health. We can’t run on fumes constantly. We have to schedule that rest time. It’s very important. 

Brett Gilliland:

Yeah. Hey, I, I couldn’t, you actually made me write something down that I’ve never really thought about, but for me, I, I call it focus 90, so it’s, it’s 90 days. So I have a goal, right? My goals are written in my journal right here that I’ve created. This is the future grade than your past journal, [00:27:00] and it, it, my goals are written down and things I want to do, but I’ve also got, you know, four or five activities every 90 days, that I need to be working on and getting better at. It may be a work related goal, it may be a revenue goal, it may be a vacation goal. It may be, you know, read 10 pages, goal, whatever they are, right? They’re all across the board, and I focus on those for 90 days. But, also , other part of that 90 is 90 minutes to start each day.

So where I had to get to is if I didn’t do it, I was a failure. You know, I wasn’t being successful. But what helped me, It’s gotta be in that morning time, but it may be before the kids get up. It may be after they go off to school. Then my next 90 minutes is that. But just commit and not beat yourself up over not doing it the exact same time, the exact same way, every single day because that’s really, really hard to commit to. And then for me, it’s the accountability part with it. So, ‘F’ 90, Focus 90 made me fan. I just created that focus and accountability, 90. Right. Yeah. And I think that’s crucial. So tell me about accountability for you.

How important is it and what accountability parameters, if you have any that you’ve got set up in your life? 

Kelley Tyan:

Oh. Accountability I feel is the key to success in a way. I have two coaches that keep me accountable. I mean, here I am, I led fitness. 

Brett Gilliland:

So time out, time out. We’re gonna, we’re gonna start that over again cause I don’t wanna just gloss over that.

So you are, as I mentioned earlier, a faith-based entrepreneur, a coach, a speaker, author, et cetera. But you just said you have what? 

Kelley Tyan:

I have two coaches, an I in an elite mastermind. We we’re always growing and we need to be, have accountability so we can continue growing. I, I know that no one succeeds alone because I tried it.

I tried doing it all alone. 

Brett Gilliland:

Doesn’t work. 

Kelley Tyan:

Yeah, it just doesn’t work. I need to be, I know what to eat, I know what to do for workouts, but I still need a fitness coach so I can be accountable to that person, so I can show up because some days it is, when I don’t feel like I might not show up. So I think, if you wanna move the needle, if you wanna go higher and climb to that next level, make sure you have an accountability person, coach, program, something that you are tapped into that can get you to that next level.

Because you can go faster with more people leading. You know, paving the way for you than if you were to do it alone. 

Brett Gilliland:

Yep. And do you think that’s important to have that person? 

Kelley Tyan:

That’s very important for me. 

Brett Gilliland:

Do, do you think it’s important to have that person or that coach? Uh, I guess it’s gotta be a person, right?

Like, I, I feel like I’m pretty disciplined now, uh, about getting up and working out, you know, six days a week. And my accountability is on Tuesdays and Thursdays. People are tired to hear me say this since August. I’ve got 13 guys are in a text message that [00:30:00] I text out they gotta send back. When it was nice out the weather, they had to be at my backyard, but now they gotta send a picture in.

That’s huge for me. Like I know that my buddies are gonna bust my chops if I’m not sending a picture at 6:00 AM Right? Um, but do we need more than that? Is it more than an app? What is it?

Kelley Tyan:

I, I, I mean, I don’t, you can have a friend be your accountability partner. I don’t think, I think you just need someone that you can say, Hey, I’m gonna try to get stronger and be healthier.

Have a friend just keep you accountable. I really, I just think it’s someone that you can tap into at least once a week. It doesn’t have to be so much pressure to do it every single day, but, it does matter. It does matter for your progress.

Brett Gilliland:

I love that. Yeah. That it’s, it’s strong. And I think too is, there’s so many things on our phones, free resources.

I mean, somebody just told me about one yesterday, I, I can’t think of it. So I don’t wanna budget the name. But you know, there’s so many [00:31:00] things out there. And then just like you said, call a friend, have the buddy system hold each other. Yeah. Support group. So talk about that elite mastermind people talk about those all the time. What do you get? 

Kelley Tyan:

Oh, I love being a part of a mastermind in general. I’ve done numerous ones. Well, I like to tap into my industry, so I’m faith in business. And I tap into people that are a few steps ahead of me. That are doing what I wanna do. So, I’m learning from them so I can have a shorter path to where I wanna go than if I didn’t tap into these people.

Because with a mastermind, you have lots of ideas instead of just your own couple ideas, and it opens up a whole world of opportunity that you might never have thought of if you were by yourself. 

So I think just community is key. Tapping into different communities of, you know, whatever your goals are. It, what, where you wanna be [00:32:00] successful, whether it’s a better marriage.

I mean, there’s so many communities you can be involved with in , in, um, to, to get you to that next level, to level you up. If you were, if you were doing it alone, you might not get there as fast. It will take longer. 

Brett Gilliland:

Yep. So, this is obviously called the Circuit of Success, uh, where we like to talk about success, but also part of success is failure, in my opinion.

And, and so what, what failure have you had that you’re comfortable sharing? Um, and, and what, what failure have you had and what did you learn from it? 

Kelley Tyan:

Well, failure is definitely part of success, but I feel with failure, if I fail at something, I really try to look at it this way. I look at it more of a redirection to something better.

Um, I’d rather fail at something and say, I tried than not try at all and have regret. 

Brett Gilliland:

Yeah.

Kelley Tyan: And it’s like, with my book, I, at first I was like, well, who’s gonna buy it? Should I write it? I mean, why am I writing this? Nobody’s, does anyone really care? And, but if I didn’t write it, I would’ve had that regret.

So we are gonna fail at a lot of things. I’ve had a lot of failures. I mean, just launching programs as simple as, not simple, but as small as launching a program, that field. Then you learn, well, what can I do different to make this program better? So I take it more, I try to change my mindset around failure to, if I fail, at least I tried and now maybe I’m redirected to something different.

Try it a new way. Yep. So I really, it doesn’t put a lot of pressure on me anymore, like it used to when I was younger, I used to think failure was, “Oh, I’m done. I’m over.” But now it’s, it’s more of an excitement to me. If I fail, okay, I can work on this. I’m betting on myself that I can make it better the next time.

Brett Gilliland:

Well, it’s a huge price, like right, to, not [00:34:00] a price to pay, but a price to receive. I guess a value add is, it’s a, it’s, it’s not a failure, it’s a learning. That’s the way I position it, is all the times I’ve failed in my life. If I don’t learn something, then it’s truly a failure, right? If I just keep, you know, running my head against the wall, well then now you’re just an idiot and you’re, you’re failing.

But if you learn something from it, oh, I gotta go around the wall. Great. Um, and so that’s a big, have you seen this show ‘Limitless’ on Disney Plus? I, I’m a, I think it’s Chris Hemsworth is his name. It is phenomenal. And, and it’s about the, I’ve only seen, I say it’s phenomenal. I’ve seen one episode, so I, it’s not a fair statement, but I think it’s gonna be phenomenal.

And the people, uh, that told me about it, I, I highly respect their opinion and they said, I gotta watch it. But he talks about that positive mental attitude, how it changed his heart rate, his breathing. You know, all that stuff when he was in high stress situations, you know, as an actor and all these different things.

Um, so it’s just something I was gonna recommend to check out. Um, if you could go back and give, uh, you know, Kelly, you know Tyan advice at 25 years old, what, what advice would you give a 25 year old Kelly. 

Kelley Tyan:

Probably just what we’re talking about. Just not look back. You, you will make mistakes, you will fail, but don’t stay there. Keep your eye on the prize ahead. Don’t compare yourself to other people, which I think when I was very young, I was always comparing, and ‘why is she better?’ What? Why does she have more? Focus on you in your strengths and what you can bring to this world and you will succeed. 

Brett Gilliland:

Love it. Who’s the most, uh, inspirational, um, or, uh, I can’t even speak, but who’s the most influential person in your life?

Uh, and what lesson have you learned from that person? 

Kelley Tyan:

It was definitely my mom. She just was inspirational in every single way, shape and form. She taught me just excellence in being, um, more of a servant leader. My mom was very much, all about making an impact in people’s lives. And I truly cherish that.

Cause I saw the way she never worried about, you know, a money exchange. It was all about just hearing people, hearing and listening and serving. And so that’s to me, is that’s everything to me. 

Brett Gilliland:

Awesome, awesome. Um, so I was gonna ask if you had to write a book, but a lot of my, uh, guests have written books, which is, which is amazing.

So the, the question I normally ask, if you had to write a book tomorrow, what would you call it and why? Uh, but you’ve already done that. So you wrote the book, ‘Addicted to the Climb’. You explained a little bit, uh, about it earlier, but talk to me more about one, the title, why you did it, and what do you hope the readers get from it?

Kelley Tyan:

So, ‘Addicted to the Climb’ is really just empowering people to just keep on climbing in with faith as the foundation. Believing that you can, whether you believe in God or whatever, you have to have faith that you will and can keep going. So my book is 30 Personal Stories I wrote of just overcoming trauma to grief, um, being fired. All kinds of stories that I know many of us can relate to because I feel we all go through similar things in life. But it’s the way we respond to those situations. So my book gives examples, um, prayers, quotes, and just personal stories. If I can get through these things, you certainly can.

I don’t have anything different than any of us. So, I believe that we all have the power inside us as long as we keep our eye on the prize and we just keep moving forward. 

Brett Gilliland:

Love it. Last question for you is, uh, I love asking this question, but how many of the fears you’ve put in your mind over your lifetime have actually blown up to the magnitude you put ’em in your mind to be.

Kelley Tyan:

Less than 0.5%. Yeah, I don’t, none. Because it’s funny that you’re saying that I, I was actually thinking about that this morning. When it comes to fear, fear is such a liar. It’s not true. It’s, it’s, it doesn’t even, it, it’s, it’s something that we put so much str, we’re so stressed out and fearful, yet, like you just said, 99.9 of the percent of the times, it doesn’t even happen.

Brett Gilliland:

Yeah. 

Kelley Tyan:

So, it’s a waste of time to worry and have fear the less it’s actually happening. I say put your effort somewhere else because fear is gripping. But fear, I had a friend write a book ‘Kick Fear in the Face’. And that’s what we really need to do physically. Like kick it in the face. Cause it’s, it’s, it’s a liar.

Brett Gilliland:

Yeah. Well, false evidence is [00:39:00] appearing real, right? That’s what it stands for. And it’s funny because I, it’s, I’ve, I asked that question because for me early on that that was, especially starting a company and all those things, you have all these fears, right? And it’s like you can lay in bed at night and like, my God, they do appear real.

Even though they’re not. Um, but it’s funny, you know, I, I, you’re my 317th interview and I’ve probably asked that question 295 times, right? And it, it’s one of those, I wish I had all 295 responses on video I could show on a, uh, highlight reel. Just one after another. Because what you did, you, you laughed, right?

You kind of went away from the mic a little bit. It’s what we all do cuz it hits home. And, and for, again, for those people listening to this right now, you have a fear in your mind. And that fear is lying to you, like you said, and, and it’s how do we get that thing knocked off our shoulder and stop listening to that voice and know that 295 people or whatever the number is.

It’s building that belief in me to say, stop doing this, Brett, because that fear I’m putting in my mind never blows up to the magnitude I’ve put it in my mind to be. And if it does, your outcome will be different anyway. 

Kelley Tyan:

Exactly. You have to just have a, a conversation with yourself that’s very strong. Just know that you are an overcomer no matter what. You’ve already been.

I always tell my clients, can you tell me 10 things you’ve been through right now? Many of ’em are like, yeah, I can tell you 20. I say, well, think about that right now. You’ve already been through the hardest of times. Don’t let fear rip you. If you got through those things, you will get through whatever else is thrown at you and more. You just have to believe and, and take fear and like you said, brush it off your shoulder and move on.

Brett Gilliland:

So, where do our listeners get your book? I’m assuming anywhere. And then, uh, where do they get your book? Where do they find more about you and your podcast and everything else?

Kelley Tyan:

They can find me on [00:41:00] LinkedIn, for sure, Instagram and my book is, you Can, Amazon is the best and my podcast is they’re both called ‘Addicted To the Climb”.

Brett Gilliland:

‘Addicted To the Climb’. Uh, we will put those in the show notes. In the notes below. Uh, Kelly Tyan, it’s been awesome having you on the ‘Circuit of Success’. Tons of notes, tons of takeaways. Appreciate your time and uh, Merry Christmas and happy holidays to your family. 

Kelley Tyan:

Thank you so much. You as well. God bless.