The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast CNLP 732 | When You Want To Punch a Hole in the Wall: Kyle Idleman on Vulnerability, Insecurity and the Spiritual Gift of Disappointing People
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Jun 3, 2025 
Kyle Idleman, Senior Pastor at Southeast Christian Church and a sought-after speaker, dives into the challenges of vulnerability and insecurity in leadership. He shares why admitting flaws on stage feels easier than in personal settings and reflects on the emotional weight of taking a sabbatical. Kyle emphasizes the importance of grounding identity in faith rather than success metrics, explores the complexities of pastoral care, and highlights the transformative power of gratitude. His insights inspire authentic connections and personal growth in leadership.
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Positivity Can Mask Problems
- Positivity as a leadership trait can cause inaccurate self-assessment.
- Leaders should seek honest feedback to avoid ignoring unhealthy issues or relationship problems.
Insecurity as Self-Consciousness
- Kyle Idleman distinguishes insecurity as self-consciousness, not lack of confidence.
- This realization helped him embrace vulnerability and gain respect by acknowledging his struggles.
The Gift of Disappointing People
- Leaders inevitably disappoint people but that can gain respect if clear, decisive direction is given.
- Avoiding decisions to spare feelings is often more disappointing than making hard choices.
