Dr. Stephen Porges on the science of safety and connection: What every parent needs to know about Polyvagal Theory

Joining me is Dr. Stephen Porges, one of the most influential voices in modern neuroscience and the creator of Polyvagal Theory, the framework that has transformed how we understand safety, connection, and emotional regulation.

 

Together we explore:

 

- How Polyvagal Theory emerged and how it builds upon attachment theory to explain our biological need for safety and connection.

- The science behind our “gut feelings,” and how the body reflexively detects safety and threat in our environment.

- Why hypersensitivities can cause us to misread others’ intentions and what this reveals about our own physiological state.

- Why thinking in circular patterns rather than cause-and-effect can transform how we interpret behavior.

- Why so many parenting strategies fall flat when a child’s nervous system is in a defensive state, and practical ways to reshape these moments to be more effective.

- The hopeful truth that the nervous system is flexible and how “retuning” it can repair patterns of stress and disconnection.

 

Dr. Porges’s groundbreaking research offers a powerful new lens for understanding the human condition, revealing how our nervous system shapes behavior and influences the way we relate to our children, our partners, and ourselves. At its core, it’s a reminder that beneath all our words and actions lies a shared biological need to feel safe, seen, and connected.

 

 

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗 https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org/ 

🔗 https://www.whatisthessp.com/

 

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

📚 Our Polyvagal World: How Safety and Trauma Change Us by Stephen W. Porges PhD and Seth Porges

 

🎧 Unlocking the power of polyvagal theory: Using the nervous system to wire our children for resilience with Seth Porges

 

👉 Click HERE for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child’s dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment.

 

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Parenting highly sensitive kids: Helping “Big Reactors” learn to regulate and manage their intense emotions with Claire Lerner

 

🎧 Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom

 

🎧 Using presence as the antidote to trauma: How we begin to break cycles with Dr. Jacob Ham