Parallel Recovery: You Don’t Have to Fix Them to Heal Yourself

In this powerful conversation, Lee Davy is joined by Lisa Katona Smith, founder of Parallel Recovery and author of Parallel Recovery: A Guide for Those Who Love Someone Struggling with Substance Use Disorder.

This episode is for anyone who loves someone who is struggling — partners, parents, sons, daughters — and feels exhausted, confused, or stuck in cycles of fixing, fear, and reactivity.

Lisa brings clarity without blame, compassion without collapse, and a framework that finally gives families permission to stop fixing and start healing.

Together, Lee and Lisa explore how real change doesn’t come from control, lectures, or shame — but from working on yourself, regulating your nervous system, and learning how to love better.

What We Cover in This Episode

• What Parallel Recovery actually is — and why families need their own recovery process, not just the person who’s struggling

• Why waiting for someone else to change keeps the entire family system stuck

• How control, fixing, and over-functioning are fear-driven responses, not acts of love

• The shift from reactivity to responsiveness — and why this changes everything

• How Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps families understand PARTS, SELF, shame, and protection

• What “loving better” really means — and why doing less can sometimes help more

• How generational patterns, legacy burdens, and family beliefs shape alcohol use and coping

• Why slowing down is often the fastest way to create real, sustainable change

About Lisa Katona Smith

Lisa Katona Smith is the founder of Parallel Recovery and a leading voice in helping families navigate substance use and mental health challenges without blame or burnout. Her work empowers families to focus on sustainability, connection, and self-leadership — rather than control and collapse.

Her book, Parallel Recovery, offers practical tools for families who want to heal themselves while staying connected to the people they love.

Resources & Links

📘 Buy Lisa’s book Parallel Recovery: A Guide for Those Who Love Someone Struggling with Substance Use Disorder

Available on Amazon

🌐 Learn more about Lisa’s work

lisakatonasmith.com

📸 Follow Lisa on Instagram

@parallelrecovery

🎤 Watch Lisa’s TED Talk

The Power of Parallel Recovery

Need Support With Your Own Relationship With Alcohol?

If alcohol feels louder than you’d like it to be — or you’re quietly exhausted by it — you don’t have to figure it out alone.

📧 Email Lee directly at thestrivemethod@gmail.com

No labels. No pressure. Just an honest conversation.