121: How to Be Intentional During the Holidays

Charlie and Angela talk about values and expectations, priorities, and boundaries in order to amp up your holidays without amping up your stress.

 

Key Takeaways:

[1:25] - Intentionality during the holidays: what do we want this time to look like?

[3:22] - There are a lot of expectations surrounding the holiday season. It is important to have conversations about how we’d like to spend (or not spend) that time with our loved ones. We don’t want that time to pass and realize we were unable to make the connections we desired.

[6:04] - It is important to focus on what we hope to feel during the holidays, rather than the things we have to do. When we’re focused on a feeling, we can project that feeling into the world. Make some space to sink into that intention so we can embody that.

[10:05] - The holidays can end up becoming a process of capturing several moments that we typically have idealized in our minds. It can be hard to reconcile when something doesn’t go as planned, but we can still embody love (or any other feeling) during those times.

[13:40] - Angela encourages us to take some time to think about what our intentions are during this time of the year, to gain some clarity about what they are and perhaps share our expectations with others. It is also important to be clear about our boundaries.

[15:50] - Having intentions around feelings rather activities will help with expectations. There is a probability that things won’t go exactly as we intended them to, but how we react to those unmet expectations can really shape the feelings around the event.

[17:17] - Typically, a lot of the responsibility for a picture-perfect holiday is tied up in women’s work. Angela encourages people to look for ways to pull other members of the family in, so they can contribute something unique to the larger expectation. Also, make sure you take care of yourself.

[19:45] - If someone in the family is really passionate about one of the traditions, one option is to enroll them and delegate that responsibility to them. Enrolling other people can expose just the amount of work that goes into certain aspects of the holidays.

[22:40] - Positive boundaries are things we are going to do; negative boundaries are things we are not going to do. Boundaries are important so our focus remains on our intentions and feelings we hope to project, rather than getting weighed down in things we have to do.

[24:54] - Being intentional in the right way leads to us being happier and less stressed during this holiday season. It can also help us have time to be who we are and do what we need to do.

[27:23] - Our intentionality with this time of year and the holidays can help to lead us into a happier new year. Charlie challenges us to be clear about the ways we want to feel and how we can project that into the world.

  

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