“They Groaned When a Woman Was Announced” — Deirdre O’Kane on Women in Comedy

Deirdre O’Kane joins Laura for a funny, honest and wide-ranging conversation about what it was really like being one of the few women in stand-up when she started out.

She talks about the early days of breaking through in a male-dominated industry, finding her own voice, the reality of long-term relationships, raising kids in the age of WhatsApp chaos, and using humour to get through tough times.

This is a brilliant mix of personal stories, cultural insight and big laughs.

🕒  Timestamps & Key Points

00:00 — Pre-chat & setup: A warm, relaxed start as Laura and Deirdre banter about microphones, lighting, and jawlines.

04:00 — Wild beginnings: Boarding school, being part of “the bold gang,” and discovering performance through impersonating teachers and nuns.

06:00 — Acting vs. stand-up: Early love-hate relationship with stand-up and what made it so tough starting out.

08:20 — Women in comedy: Audience groans, breaking barriers, and how social media helped shift the landscape.

11:00 — Self-censorship: Why she avoided certain topics early on — and how that’s changed.

14:00 — Touring life: What it’s really like on the road as a comic, from long drives to late nights.

17:00 — Irish vs. UK audiences: How humour translates across borders and why Irish audiences are special.

20:00 — Long-term relationships: Honest reflections on discomfort, denial, and doing the work over decades together.

23:00 — Expectations in love: Balancing domestic reality with romantic ideals — and keeping individuality.

27:30 — The Magdalene Laundries bit: Taking on a taboo topic and walking a fine line between darkness and humour.

30:00 — Phone bans and stand-up: How comics protect their material from leaking online.

33:00 — Comedy as a lifeline: How stand-up kept her family afloat when her husband was ill.

36:00 — Motherhood & identity: Returning to stand-up after kids and why motherhood fuelled her next show.

43:00 — Modern motherhood rant: Emails, WhatsApp groups, class reps, and why it’s all too much.

48:00 — Quick fire: Worst gig ever, sharing the stage, favourite punchlines, and industry reflections.

53:00 — Politics & culture: A candid take on the current Irish political climate and cultural shifts.

🧠 Key Themes

• Women in comedy & gender barriers
• Finding your comedic voice
• Long-term relationships & emotional honesty
• Modern motherhood and social pressures
• Comedy as both art and survival
• Cultural change in Ireland & beyond

🪄 Actionable Takeaways

• Courage comes with craft — pushing boundaries can create powerful cultural moments.
• Honesty in relationships matters — even the uncomfortable parts.
• Women’s voices in comedy are no longer the exception.
• Modern motherhood comes with too many expectations — and laughter helps cut through the noise.

Thanks for listening! You can watch the full episode on YouTube here. Don’t forget to follow The Laura Dowling Experience podcast on Instagram @lauradowlingexperience for updates and more information. You can also follow our host, Laura Dowling, @fabulouspharmacist for more insights and tips. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review—it really helps us out! Stay tuned for more great conversations.

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