It's 1983 and Chris Voss was hired at the FBI just before his 26th birthday. During his 24 years of service with the Bureau, Voss became a leading international kidnapping negotiator. He regularly engaged with some of the world's most dangerous criminals in extremely high-stakes scenarios. One of the moments that put Chris on the map was the time he successfully negotiated the release of hostages after a 1993 bank robbery at a Chase Manhattan bank in Brooklyn.

I imagine Chris's life a little like a scene from one of my favorite TV shows, The Americans, a period drama about two KGB spies (portrayed by Keri Russell and Matthew Rhys) posing as Americans in suburban Washington, D.C., during the Reagan administration. Voss is currently the founder and head of the Black Swan Group, where he and his team are leveraging his deep knowledge and experience to train businesses and individuals to become highly effective negotiators.

Here are a few things you might learn from Chris during this session:

1. How to decipher your leverage and negotiate from strength [ "The enemy is not the person across the table; the adversary is the situation." ]

In other words, don't make people the enemy--focus instead on the problem to be solved. Negotiation shouldn't be a zero-sum game if you're planning to be in business long-term. So how do we win without burning bridges? The best strategy according to Voss is to "come up with a better deal than both parties could have imagined. You're both faced with different aspects of the same problem. So by definition, you have to look out for the other person to get to the best deal you can get."

2. How to figure out if you're the favorite or the fool...

3. How to use tactical empathy...

While many believe that business is war, Voss sees getting to wins as a collaboration with effort on both sides rooted in empathy. "Aim to magnify positive emotions. To try and take emotions out of negotiation is a fool's errand." So be kind. Be professional. Put yourself in your rival's shoes and figure out a way for you to both be happy.

4. How to use mirroring...

And much more!

Special thanks to our sponsors:

This episode is brought to you by Eight Sleep.
Good sleep is the ultimate game changer and the Eight Sleep Pod is the ultimate sleep machine.

“For me, the three pillars of health are: Sleep. Nutrition. Exercise. Sleep, especially on a thermo-regulated bed at the right temperature customized for me, has been the key to feeling my best and performing at a high level. The Eight Sleep Pro Pod is a game-changer!”

Go to https://eightsleep.com/BRY to start sleeping cool this summer and save (a lot with my special code). Eight Sleep currently ships within the USA, Canada, the UK, select countries in the EU, and Australia. I highly recommend it.

This episode is also brought to by Vimeo…

I’ve been a Pro User of Vimeo basically since I started my production company in 2010. Vimeo is for creative professions like me and I use it several different ways that have helped to build my business. I would suggest checking them out. Just go to Vimeo.com and see what’s possible!

Support the show

Uncle Barbecue: Kyle Kinane's Confessionals