Carmen, Drug and Alcohol Counselor and Former Porn Consumer
Nov 8, 2023
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Carmen, a recovering addict, shares his journey of overcoming compulsive porn use. He discusses the connection between pornography and trafficking, the significance of not giving up, and the power of sharing his story. Topics include addiction, shame, recovery process, accountability, small steps in recovery, and the importance of storytelling.
The importance of not letting setbacks discourage you from continuing to try in recovery.
The significance of understanding the connection between pornography and trafficking in recovery and advocating against pornography.
Deep dives
Beginning of the addiction and struggle
The podcast episode features Carmen, a drug and alcohol counselor for the prison system, who shares his journey of addiction to pornography. Carmen recalls how his occasional porn habit turned into a perpetual one, and how he found himself looking at porn even when he didn't feel the desire to. As a counselor, he felt like a hypocrite helping others with addiction recovery while struggling himself. He discusses the impact pornography had on his mental state, feeling guilt, shame, and compromised integrity. Carmen shares specific instances of how pornography affected his daily routine and preoccupied his thoughts, making him aware of the need for recovery.
The importance of support and accountability
Carmen emphasizes the vital role of support and accountability in his recovery process. He highlights the significance of finding someone to confide in, whether it be a counselor, sponsor, or anonymous online community. Opening up to someone who won't judge allows individuals to feel less alone and start their recovery journey. Carmen shares his experience of attending meetings, working with a sponsor, and receiving tokens that symbolized his progress, providing him with encouragement and a sense of achievement. He also discusses the importance of confronting self-excuses, rationalizations, and minimizing behaviors related to addiction.
Recovery process and becoming an advocate
Carmen shares his journey of recovery, including seeking counseling, attending support meetings, and engaging in programs focused on empathy and understanding the impact of abusive behaviors. He explains how recovering from addiction is a gradual process that requires self-awareness, coping mechanisms for managing emotions, and creating healthy boundaries with devices and media consumption. Carmen recognizes the connection between pornography and sex trafficking, fueling his motivation to advocate against pornography and help men realize that they can have sexual integrity and reject harmful attitudes towards women. He highlights the transformative power of recovery and the opportunity for men to contribute to positive change in the world.
The significance of small steps and hope
Carmen emphasizes the importance of taking small steps in the recovery process and maintaining hope. He compares it to walking or running, where initially stumbling and struggling is expected, but with perseverance, it becomes more natural and effortless. He emphasizes that recovery is not just about personal transformation but also activism against the injustices associated with pornography. Carmen urges men to change their perspective and treat all women with respect, rejecting the notion that objectification and entitlement are inherent to masculinity. Overall, he encourages men to become authentic individuals and actively work towards reducing the demand for pornography.
As a young adult, Carmen’s occasional porn habit turned perpetual, which he realized when he was looking at porn even when he didn’t feel like it. As a drug and alcohol counselor, he felt like a hypocrite because he was helping others in addiction recovery while struggling with an addiction himself. Once he began recovery, he realized the importance of not letting setbacks discourage him from continuing to try, and of not being alone in his struggle.
In this episode, he shares with us his story of recovering from his unwanted compulsive porn use, the significance of understanding the connection between pornography and trafficking in his continued recovery, and how he uses his story to help others.
Fight the New Drug collaborates with a variety of qualified organizations and individuals with varying personal beliefs, affiliations, and political persuasions. As FTND is a non-religious and non-legislative organization, the personal beliefs, affiliations, and persuasions of any of our team members or of those we collaborate with do not reflect or impact the mission of Fight the New Drug.
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