185. Why Autistic Teens Fall for “Trans” and What They Need Instead with Simon Amaya Price

In this compelling conversation, I sit down with 21-year-old desister Simon Amaya Price, who identified as transgender from ages 14 to 17. Now serving as Outreach and Events Lead at the LGB Courage Coalition, Simon offers invaluable insights into why young people—especially those with autism—fall into gender ideology.

We explore the perfect storm of factors that led to Simon's trans identification: autism, bullying, sexual assault, and false accusations in the wake of the #MeToo movement. Simon shares how his parents' firm boundaries against medicalization, combined with giving him a "long leash" to make mistakes and learn from them, ultimately helped him desist.

Our discussion delves into practical strategies for parents, including the "match plus one" social skills framework, body-based distress tolerance techniques, and why allowing kids to experience natural consequences is crucial. Simon challenges the "neurodiversity affirming" approach that keeps autistic kids disabled, advocating instead for teaching real-world skills. We examine how disconnection from the body fuels gender dysphoria and why adventures, cold showers, and physical challenges can reconnect kids to reality. This episode offers hope and concrete tools for families navigating the gender crisis.

Simon is a desister, writer, and speaker, fighting gender ideology with classical liberal values. At 14, he came out as transgender but desisted after 3 years. He has written for The Boston Globe, testified on bills nationwide, has spoken in communities across the country, and been featured in the Daily Mail, Boston Herald, and The Daily Signal. Simon now is the Outreach and Events Lead at the LGB Courage Coalition.

Simon can be found at:

• X (Twitter): @SimonAmayaPrice
• Instagram: @SimonAmayaPrice
• YouTube: @SimonAmayaPrice
• Website: simonamayaprice.com

Books mentioned in this episode:

The Coddling of the American Mind by Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff

[00:00:00] Start & guest introduction

[00:02:52] Political Violence and Role Models

[00:04:00] The Coddling of American Minds

[00:05:00] Finding Normal Male Peers

[00:05:41] Charlie Kirk's Impact

[00:07:00] Coming Out as Bisexual

[00:08:00] Sexual Assault and False Accusations

[00:10:09] Why Accusations Fueled Trans Identity

[00:11:18] Parents Unaware of Trauma

[00:12:49] How Boys Learn About Female Power

[00:14:46] Rejection and False Allegations

[00:16:28] Young Men's Dating Fears

[00:18:00] Male Coping Strategies

[00:20:37] Conservative vs Liberal Dating Success

[00:21:41] Parent Coaching Advice

[00:23:07] What My Parents Did Right

[00:26:00] Making Mistakes Builds Character

[00:27:00] Adventures and Neuroplasticity

[00:28:01] Natural Consequences Build Identity

[00:31:32] Learning Through Experience

[00:33:30] Complaining as Communication

[00:34:30] Inconvenience vs Challenge vs Trauma

[00:37:00] The Long Leash Double Bind

[00:39:00] Life Skills Prevent Trans Identity

[00:40:26] Social Skills Algorithm

[00:41:47] Match Plus One Framework

[00:43:00] Life Skills Get You Out

[00:44:05] Working Hard on Social Fluidity

[00:45:00] Neurodiversity Affirming Care Problems

[00:47:23] Therapists Who Only Validate

[00:49:00] Tools for Autistic Teens

[00:51:00] Frameworks for Social Understanding

[00:54:00] Mental Health Energy Landscapes

[00:56:00] Reflective Listening for Rumination

[00:58:03] Body-Based Distress Tolerance

[01:02:00] Concrete Goals in Therapy

[01:04:00] Breaking Down Big Goals

[01:07:00] Modeling Coping Strategies

[01:09:08] Ice Cube Self-Harm Prevention

[01:11:00] Embodied Experiences Matter

[01:14:00] Ancient Vedic Psychology

[01:16:00] Looking Inwards vs Ruminating

[01:18:30] Trauma Separates Mind from Body

[01:19:41] Growing Into Your Body

[01:22:00] Losing Connection at Puberty

[01:24:00] From Appearance to Function

[01:25:17] Adult Personality Development

[01:27:00] Presenting Yourself Authentically

[01:28:02] Breaking Down Big Tasks

[01:30:00] Health Signals and Attractiveness

[01:31:00] Queer Theory vs Reality

[01:33:00] Theory of Mind and Autism

[01:33:39] Standpoint Epistemology Problems

[01:35:45] Understanding Historical Atrocities

[01:37:05] Street Conversations with Opposition

[01:39:00] Charlie Kirk Abortion Discussion

[01:40:30] Building Empathy Across Difference

[01:41:56] Starting with Agreement

[01:43:38] Closing and Contact Information

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MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.

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