This week on Feedback Friday, Jordan Harbinger and Gabriel Mizrahi discuss topics such as having needs met outside of marriage, considering legal action against an abusive father, getting out from under a judgmental mother's thumb, navigating career dilemmas, and giving meaningful feedback to employees.
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Quick takeaways
Is there an ethical way to have your needs met elsewhere when your partner is unable to engage in sex due to a surgical mishap?
Considering legal action against an abusive father: Is it worth the time, energy, and money to do so?
How to break free from a financially judgmental mother and find independence in a challenging job market?
Overcoming avoidance and fear when confronting grief and seeking therapy for healing and growth.
Deep dives
Feeling Stuck in Current Job with Limited Learning Opportunities
The author has been working at a nonprofit for a year and a half but feels unfulfilled and unchallenged in their role. They enjoy the flexibility but feel that their creativity is being stifled.
Passion for Podcasting and Desire for a Career Change
The author has started a podcast with their cousin about a sexual assault trial and is deeply passionate about it. They are considering turning it into a career but are aware of the challenges and saturation in the podcast market.
Financial Dependency and Controlling Mother
The author's mother financially supports them and has control over their life choices. They struggle with opening up about their podcast due to fear of disappointing their mother and potential consequences of financial support being taken away.
Advice for Pursuing Passion and Achieving Independence
The author is encouraged to stay connected to their passion for podcasting and to explore opportunities in the field. They are advised to work towards financial independence from their mother in order to have more autonomy and freedom in their career choices.
Avoidance and Fear of Confronting Grief
The individual is experiencing avoidance and fear when it comes to confronting their grief. They have been avoiding getting a haircut because it reminds them of the day they received the news of their friend's death. Although they know it is illogical, they can't help but associate cutting their hair with the fear of someone else dying. The avoidance extends to therapy as well, even though they acknowledge the need for it. It is important for them to recognize that avoidance only perpetuates distress and prevents growth. Starting small and practicing self-compassion can help overcome the fear and begin the healing process.
Overcoming Avoidance and Finding Courage
It is essential for the individual to recognize their avoidance and understand that it is rooted in fear. By acknowledging the specific fears associated with confronting grief, they can start to work on overcoming them. Utilizing coping strategies, such as grounding techniques or seeking support from loved ones, can help tolerate the anxiety that comes with facing these emotions. Additionally, when starting therapy, they can communicate their resistance to the therapist and gradually ease into discussing difficult topics. It is crucial to approach the process with self-compassion and take small steps towards healing, accepting that it will not be an easy journey.
Parental Support and Encouragement
The individual's mother canceled the salon appointment upon witnessing their emotional reaction. While done with good intentions, this act of accommodation may inadvertently reinforce avoidance. It is important for the mother to understand the potential impact of such actions and instead, offer support and encouragement to face the emotions head-on. The individual can explore coping strategies such as having someone accompany them to the salon or engaging in a pre-appointment grounding practice. By allowing themselves to feel the emotions and confront their fears, they can prevent their world from becoming smaller and continue their healing journey.
You love your wife, but a surgical mishap makes sex painful for her. Is there an ethical way to have your needs met elsewhere? Welcome to Feedback Friday!
And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in!
On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss:
Have some good stories about your most embarrassing moments that you wouldn't mind us featuring on a future Feedback Friday? Please share with us at friday@jordanharbinger.com (and we'll share some of our own as well)!
You love your wife, but a surgical mishap makes sex too painful for her. She once joked that maybe you should find a girlfriend to help you in that department, so you did — and it didn't go over as well as you might have hoped. Is there an ethical way to have your needs met elsewhere?
An addendum to the statute of limitations in your state has you considering taking legal action against your father — who abused you when you were still a child. Would it be worth the time, energy, and money to do so at this point? [Once again, thanks to attorney Corbin Paynefor helping us answer another difficult one!]
You're financially reliant on your judgmental mother who has withdrawn her support in the past when she felt your values didn't align with hers. How can you get out from under her thumb in what's thus far proven to be a brutally barren job market for your particular set of skills?
As a "nice" boss, how can you cultivate the ability to share feedback with your employees that will foster their growth as professionals without feeling like you're nitpicking at their imperfections?
You're no stranger to the indispensable power of therapy, but you've found yourself making excuses to avoid it ever since the death of a close friend last year hit you hard. What can you do to stop procrastinating and get the professional help you need? [Thanks to clinical psychologist Dr. Erin Margolis for helping us with this one!]
Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
