Very few men think of relationships in the frame of the “sexual marketplace,” although the rules and principles of attraction and connection can very much be understood as an economic model, of sorts, of perceived value. And, the man who offers the most perceived value, is the man who gets the girl. Whether you’re married or single, understanding the intricacies and nuance of what makes a man attractive to a woman will help him get more of what he wants from her.

My guest today, psychologist Orion Taraban joins me to discuss these dynamics between men and women so we all get more of what we’re after in relationships. We cover the importance of knowing your value and knowing what is valuable to the opposite sex, why love has little or nothing to do with attraction, what is known as the “Madonna-Whore Complex,” the concepts of Captains and Passengers as it relates to dating and mating, the difference between talking and communicating, and how best to make yourself more attractive.

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS 00:00 - Introduction to Captain and Passenger Roles 00:30 - Orion Taraban’s Background and Book Success 01:30 - The Role of YouTube in Building an Audience 03:24 - Orion’s Communication Style and Credentials 07:04 - The Captain and Passenger Metaphor 11:33 - Prerogatives of the Captain 12:23 - Liabilities of Female Captaincy 15:29 - Sexual Marketplace Dynamics 18:38 - Love and Relationships 20:15 - Male Sexuality and Objectification 26:16 - Attraction and the “Bad Boy” Myth 28:12 - The Two Women Concept 32:21 - Communication vs. Talking in Relationships 37:24 - Self-Knowledge and Attraction 41:14 - Double Standards in the Sexual Marketplace 47:20 - Body Count and Sexual Novelty 51:17 - The Coolidge Effect and Male Drive 56:13 - Monogamy and Historical Context 59:54 - Relationships as Economic Transactions 1:03:36 - Marriage as a Business Partnership 1:09:48 - What Women Want in Men 1:16:01 - Standing Out in the Sexual Marketplace 1:23:12 - Where to Connect with Orion

Episode 856: The French Book of Gravy.