Find Your Voice, Change Your Life #83 Honor Your Values
Today, I interview Chris Salem who remembers being disappointed and hurt by his father. His dad wasn't around much and didn't give him the encouragement and praise he so longed for, and this lack of support dug a deep hole in Chris's heart.
Chris says his mother was great. She was always there, always supportive, and did her best to fill in the gaps where his father was lacking. However, she was an extreme perfectionist, so her unrealistic desire for perfection from a child meant she was often helping him to "get it right" down to the last detail. This resulted in a codependent relationship and a lack of independence and individuality in Chris.
In connecting the dots, Chris says he got his passive side from his father, and his aggressive side from his mother, because she had modeled the expectation of perfection. He was "always striving for something that was impossible." Despite his mother's good intentions, he was also in pain over his father and he became bitter, rebellious, and angry in his teenage years. This led to him getting into trouble, making bad decisions, and eventually spiraling into various addictions. He didn't know how to cope with his anger.
Eventually, Chris got sick of being "on the hamster wheel". His dad had been diagnosed with late-stage cancer and passed very quickly after. The day before his passing, he saw Chris in his room and began speaking to him – but he spoke differently than he ever had. He expressed his heart and made a last effort to connect.
Suddenly, Chris had an epiphany. He realized that his dad had always been doing and being what he knew. He wasn't intentionally doing a poor job as a parent. He did care, and he did the best he could despite his own uphill battles. Chris realized he'd been acting like a victim his whole life, and that he needed to take stewardship of his time on earth. He went down a path of self-discovery and found a way to overcome his limiting beliefs and bad habits. He developed his self-esteem and found his own personal values, embracing personal development and acknowledging his emotions. Once he stepped into his purpose, he realized that the goal wasn't perfection. The goal was to be present today in order to embrace life and continue to grow.
___________
Chris Salem is an accomplished CEO, business executive coach, world-class speaker, corporate trainer-advisor, award-winning author®, certified mindset expert, and radio show host & media personality mentoring business leaders and organizations to scale their brands and business by raising their level of influence as trusted advisors. In addition, he mentors business leaders and organizations toward solutions for enhancing corporate culture, improving workplace communications, increasing sales, and increasing employee engagement for maximum production. His book Master Your Inner Critic / Resolve the Root Cause – Create Prosperity went international best seller in 2016. He also co-authored the recent edition of "Mastering the Art of Success" with Jack Canfield. His weekly radio show, Sustainable Success, is part of the Voice America Influencers Channel and Business Influencers with TAL Radio, part of the Touch-A-Life foundation.
Find Chris here:
https://christophersalem.com/
https://www.facebook.com/chris.salem.773
https://www.facebook.com/sustainablesuccess2017
https://www.facebook.com/christophersalemprofessional https://www.instagram.com/chrisrsalem/
https://twitter.com/whealthteam
https://www.linkedin.com/in/christophersalem https://www.youtube.com/c/ChrisSalem1967
___________
I'm your podcast host, Dr. Doreen Downing, and I help
I’m Dr. Doreen Downing and I help people find their voice so they can speak without fear. Get the Free 7-Step Guide to Fearless Speaking https://www.doreen7steps.com.