WTF is on my Mind?! NXIVM & the Psychology of Self-Pity w/ Richard Grannon
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In this episode of WTF is on My Mind, I sit down with author and dark psychology educator Richard Grannon to explore something that’s been gnawing at my Patreon community: the disturbing rise of post-cult interviews where former NXIVM insiders speak as though they’re remorseful, but their words don’t always match their energy. My community senses there’s a difference between genuine accountability and what Richard and I refer to as cognitive empathy theater. And many survivors tell me they can feel any potential disconnect immediately, even when the language sounds “right.”
We talk about the spectrum of remorse—why some people can name their actions with humility while others wrap themselves in self-pity and sentimentality.
We unpack whether narcissists and psychopaths really don’t know what they’re doing, or if that confusion is actually part of the performance. We question the cultural habit of rushing to psychologize abusers, and we name the uncomfortable truth: trauma doesn’t cause cruelty. And empathy without discernment? That’s not compassion... it’s a liability. Sometimes even a form of self-betrayal.
This isn’t just about NXIVM. It’s about the larger conversation around power, denial, and the subtle rebranding of harm in public spaces. It’s about what happens when people who inflicted damage are given platforms to spin their story before they’ve truly reckoned with it. And it’s about what it means to hold that with clarity, without being consumed by bitterness.
My incredible Patreon members helped shape this conversation through their questions and insights. They’ve created a space where honesty, nuance, and emotional maturity still exist—and I’m grateful for it. If you’re looking for real talk about dark systems, manipulative personalities, and the ongoing work of recovery, this one’s for you.
You can access the uncensored, extended portion of this conversation—where I ask Richard the specific questions submitted by my Patreon community—at patreon.com/markvicente
The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.
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