Hold Your Shield, Get Your Balls Back, and Have More Sex | Date Your Wife | Ep 020

May 22, 2018

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Welcome to the Date Your Wife Podcast where professionals Garrett J and Daniel K White, who happen to make babies together, take on the topic of Money in this week’s episode. One of the more interesting gems discovered in today's conversation is Garrett's confession to having pierced his nipples while attending college, arguably one of the worst decisions he has ever made.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication

In This Week's Podcast....MONEY Point #1: Sword and Shield

Garrett: Danielle doesn't collide well with people, and since I do, one of the things we rely on inside of our marriage when it comes to money is that I’m the guy out in front with the shield and sword. I'm the guy that goes to war. I’m the guy that collides with everyone inside of the topic of money.
I remember the days when I would put Danielle out front to be the shield and would yell at her that it was her job to pay the bills because I was too busy. I would ask her why I felt like I was married to a man and she said it's because I had put her in man shoes. This, of course, had a huge impact on our sex life.

QUESTION: In your marriage, who is out in front going to war?

Point #2: Illusion

Garrett: Danielle looks like she’s a very orderly person when she’s with me because I’m a hurricane. She's very clean but isn't good at cleaning. Open any drawer in our house and Danielle admits it's a scary shit show.
Danielle: We compliment each other very well when it comes to our strengths and weaknesses. When it comes to numbers, I tend to shut down a little bit and get overwhelmed, and only want to be told numbers on a need to know basis

QUESTION: How do the two of you compliment one another?

Point #3: Let Go and Let Him Lead

Danielle: I don’t know what's going on with the bills, and I trust that Garrett has that taken care of. In the past, I wanted control over what I was making only because when shit was going south in our marriage, that was my safety net and escape plan.
Garrett: Being able to give your man a position to lead is vital. A common complaint from powerful women is that their man is not leading. My response? Quit cutting off his balls. If you want him to act like a king with the vaults and the money, then you’re going to have to actually show up in a way that gives him space to do that.

QUESTION: Ladies, are you cutting off your husband's balls?

Point #4: Growth Yields Abundance

Garrett: While I was using you as a shield, you were part of the key game of triggering me to want more. I think I would have settled for way less than what we currently have, but you exposed me to a place of possibility of a life being married to you other than how I was raised.
Danielle: At the end of the day, significance only gets people so far. By pushing Garrett to grow, we have become better people. We've tapped into a different network of people and we've been able to impact more people’s lives directly by putting a dollar figure behind it.

QUESTION: Where in your relationship have the two of you settled?

Point #5: Push and Lead

Garrett: You drove me to care more about money in the sense of getting economically compensated for what I do, and to keep pushing that. I then I took it upon myself to create profitable businesses and a lifestyle that was financially prosperous, and a legacy that would matter economically. That's the gift I got from Danielle.
Danielle: Lead by example rather than dragging your spouse with you. If they don’t see that shift and if they don’t want to be the better version of themselves, then you might cross paths. At one point, our circumstances caused me to push myself out there with an attitude of wanting to produce more, and in the process became a better artist and person.

QUESTION: How do you push your spouse to become a better version of themselves?

Communication Challenge:

Have a discussion about the man being out in front leading, guiding, and protecting his family. What would it take for you two to pull this off? What changes would have to take place?

Date Night Topic:

On your next Date Night, share with each other the ways you compliment one another.

Quote of the Week:

"When I took the shield back and started paying the bills, I started producing and began to double down, focusing on myself and making sure I was on point as a producer. When I did this, this magical thing came back. Danielle became more attracted to me and we began having more sex."

--Garrett J White

"We see it all the time where couples come inside both of our businesses trying to get each of their spouses on board. It seems there’s always going to be one more driven than the other. I’ve always thought of Garrett as being the one more driven, but once I gave myself permission, I discovered that I'm actually very driven and super passionate."

--Danielle K White