Codependency, Control, and the Illusion of Being Needed

The Hard Truth About Being “The Helper” (And Why It’s Keeping You Stuck)

In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on one of the most misunderstood patterns in relationships: codependency.

If you’ve ever felt exhausted from being “the strong one,” guilty when you prioritize yourself, or frustrated when someone doesn’t take your advice, this conversation is for you.

I break down how codependency masquerades as love but is actually a hidden form of control—and how the need to be needed keeps both you and the people you care about stuck.

You’ll learn to recognize the subtle daily patterns that signal codependency, from checking your phone for someone else’s emotional weather to canceling your own plans when someone seems “off.”

Then, I walk you through the practice of detachment with love—caring deeply while releasing your grip on outcomes.

This isn’t about being cold or distant. It’s about trusting that others have their own path, their own lessons, and their own capacity to grow.

I share practical steps like setting real boundaries (yes, you can not respond to every text), tolerating discomfort, and offering support without attachment.

Finally, we dive into personal responsibility and emotional independence.

You’ll discover how to build your own sense of meaning that doesn’t depend on being needed, practice self-compassion with the same kindness you give others, and reclaim the energy you’ve been pouring into everyone else’s lives.

🔗 Links Mentioned in This Episode

• 🎧 Related Episode: Why Your Inner Voice Is So Mean — And How It Affects Your Recovery

• 💬 Coaching with Angela: Book a Free Solution Call

• 👥 Community: Join us in the Facebook group