Lead the People #46: The Well-Traveled Leader with Chris Failla
Chris is a husband, father, people and idea person. He helps energize people and teams through reframing stress, uncovering strengths, and cultivating connection. He’s been to 50 countries, worked with leaders on every inhabited continent, and hopes to get to Antarctica someday!
Top 3 Takeaways
- Create space. Our organizations and relationships at work have the potential to be places we go for healing and reinforcement. Making this a reality requires a new leadership approach.
- Be present. When you’re holding space with another person, do the little things that let them know you’re fully present with them. Turn off the phones, face them, and be all about them in that moment.
- Learn to love again. We don’t use the “L” word often enough at work. When we care deeply about those around us, we don’t have to make it awkward. We need to find our own way to let our love shine through.
From the Source
“Essentially, it's this sense that all of us are longing for wholeness, right? All of us are longing for integration, and every interaction is an opportunity to move closer to that or move further from it.”
“So what if we could use that to create and cultivate these healing spaces? And the workplace is ready for it. As humans, we’re ready for it. So I guess the question is, are our organizations ready for it?“
“The more that we can be those people that see the value, that see the importance, the significance of the person right in front of us, that in and of itself is strengthening.”
“We have these assumptions that people can compartmentalize so well. The reality is that it's incredibly draining to try to compartmentalize these things that we all carry this emotional weight, these griefs, on a small scale to a large scale and to act like that's not affecting our capacity or to try to disregard it and just go on with business as usual, that's not sustainable.“
“So do we even notice the nuance and the contours of somebody's world? And that has to do with slowing down, right? Paying attention and being fully present. So often we're just moving so fast, or we're so, so focused that we don't even notice those little opportunities, right? To lean in and invite somebody to be seen.“
“I love what you talked about, the live wire, that spark of joy. One of the things that I really try to pay attention to—I actually have a post-it note underneath my monitor, right underneath you, purple, that's appropriate, it's on brand with Matt—and it says, ‘Am I having fun right now?’ And that's a simple, simple barometer for me of, ‘Do I want to continue in this? Is this where I want to be right now? And, what kind of presence, what kind of energy do I want to bring to it?’”
“Things just go so much better when I put love first and then results follow. When I try to lead from results and then kind of like, squeeze in a little bit of love where possible, usually, A) there's no room and B) it doesn't really work.”
“One of the things that I try to help people see is that, usually, as a leader, we're dealing more with polarities and paradoxes than we are problems. And so, making that distinction and seeing that, ‘Look, this isn't an issue of do you value him as a human or do you get him to do his work, it's yes, AND.’”
“Then I realized, wait a minute, one of the reasons that self care doesn't really happen is because we think about it in an over individualized way. But if you emphasize belonging, self care follows, but if you emphasize self care, it doesn't stick.”
“It's really about setting that container of love, results happen within the context of love, but results brought without that container of love result in alienation, right? Separation, frustration. It's counterproductive. It backfires.”
“So I like to try to reframe stress for people, and self care around stress doesn't mean you're not stressed because you're inadequate, you're stressed because you care. And the invitation is to actually include yourself more in all of that caring that you do. So self care isn't caring less, right? For others, it's actually just expanding the circle of care to include yourself in it.”
“I think it's so important for leaders to do the work to excavate and reflect on what fills your tank.”
Connect with Chris
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chrisfailla/
Website: http://www.christophersparks.com
References
Where in the World? https://www.watercoolertrivia.com/trivia-questions/geography-trivia-questions