Forgetting important dates causes tension with mother-in-law

A woman's husband consistently forgets important dates like birthdays and anniversaries, causing tension with his mother and other family members. The woman suggests setting up a shared calendar, but her husband fails to participate and expects her to remind him. She argues that it's not her responsibility to keep track of his family's important dates, and that he should take more initiative to remember them. The situation escalates, resulting in a war between the husband's family and the woman. She questions whether she is the asshole for not reminding her husband about these dates.