The Empathy Edge Tamsen Webster: Say What They Can't Unhear: Communicating for Lasting Change
When we have information to give, the communication doesn't start and end with just one email, announcement, or conversation. Effective communication is more than just the info you deliver, or the words you say. It requires empathy. This is a note for anyone needing to communicate strategic shifts, return-to-work policies, performance expectations, or even layoffs.
Tamsen Webster and I discuss why her work is driven by her desire to only do things once! How the risk of change belongs with the person or organization asking for it, how to understand the why behind how people approach change, and the first step in building buy-in that most people skip. She shares why leveraging pain is almost always guaranteed to fail long-term and how it’s almost always possible to find common ground (and if it’s not, to have a way to identify those differences clearly and without judgment).
To access the episode transcript, please search for the episode title at www.TheEmpathyEdge.com
Key Takeaways:
- Every decision has a story. Every action or change we decide on has won the argument even if it is only internal.
- It is important to understand the story, the heart of the message, surrounding the conversations about change.
- Pain is the ally of quick action, but a brain in pain is not a rational brain. Once rationality is resumed, those decisions are often reconsidered.
- If people don’t understand what you’re saying it doesn’t matter how powerful or important what you are saying is.
"Anchor the outcome of the change in something that you fully acknowledge and you share with the person that you're talking to." — Tamsen Webster
Episode References:
- Tamsen Website: Why Great Stories Are Empathy Machines
- Dia Bondi: How to Ask Like An Auctioneer
- Sarah R. Moore: It’s Possible to Parent AND Lead without Punishment- the Brain Science Behind It
About Tamsen Webster, Message Designer and Author, Say What They Can't Unhear
Part message designer, part English-to-English translator, part magpie, Tamsen Webster helps leaders craft their case for large-scale change. In addition to her work in and for major organizations such as Harvard Medical School, Fidelity Investments, and Klaviyo, she’s a judge and mentor for the Harvard Innovation Labs, a professional advisor at the Martin Trust Center for MIT Entrepreneurship, and has spent over 10 years as the Idea Strategist for one of only nine legacy-level TEDx events in the world. She was named to the Thinkers50 Radar in 2022 and is the author of two books, Find Your Red Thread: Make Your Big Ideas Irresistible and Say What They Can't Unhear: The 9 Principles of Lasting Change. She lives in Boston with her husband, two sons, and two brindle Greyhounds, Hazel and Walnut.
Connect with Tamsen:
Website: messagedesigninstitute.com
Book: Say What They Can't Unhear
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/tamsenwebster
FREE RESOURCE: The Compact Case, designed to help people apply the principles of Say What They Can't Unhear to their own case for change. thecompactcase.com.
Connect with Maria:
Get the podcast and book: TheEmpathyEdge.com
Learn more about Maria and her work: Red-Slice.com
Hire Maria to speak at your next event: Red-Slice.com/Speaker-Maria-Ross
Take my LinkedIn Learning Course! Leading with Empathy
LinkedIn: Maria Ross
Instagram: @redslicemaria
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Facebook: Red Slice
Threads: @redslicemaria
Get your copy of The Empathy Dilemma here- www.theempathydilemma.com
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