How Jay Conner Built a Real Estate Empire Using Proven Private Money Strategies

***Guest Appearance

Credits to:

https://www.youtube.com/@therealjenjosey 

"251 - Unlocking Private Money Secrets with Jay Conner"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ww3gU1egqSY 

If you’re a real estate investor who has ever felt boxed out by banks, high-interest hard money lenders, or just wanted a faster, more flexible way to fund your deals, there’s a gateway you need to know about: private money. On a recent episode of the Raising Private Money podcast, together with Jen Josey, industry expert Jay Conner broke down his journey from traditional lending to mastering the art of raising millions in private capital—and how you can do the same.

Jay’s Story: From the Mobile Home Business to Real Estate Success

Jay’s foray into real estate is rooted in a family legacy of mobile homes. Raised in North Carolina, his family’s business was the largest retailer of mobile homes in the country at one point. But when the industry collapsed in the early 2000s due to disappearing financing options, Jay was faced with a formidable challenge. It took his family a year and a half to liquidate $22 million in inventory, an experience he describes as much harder than starting a business. That difficult chapter pushed him into the world of single-family homes in 2003, inspired by friends who successfully flipped properties for far more profit (and less hassle) than he could imagine in mobile homes.

For his first six years, Jay relied on traditional bank financing: loan applications, credit pulls, heavy documentation, and all the red tape. But everything shifted for him with the 2008 market crash, when his local banker abruptly stopped lending. In 2009, Jay discovered private money—and he hasn’t looked back since.

What Makes Private Money Different?

Jay is quick to make an important distinction: private money is not “hard money.” Hard money lenders are typically brokers leveraging pools of investor capital, charging steep origination fees and higher interest rates—often 12-14% or more. In contrast, private money deals are direct relationships with individuals seeking solid, safe returns. According to Jay, the advantages are extensive:

• No Loan Applications or Credit Checks: Traditional banks set all the rules, but with private money, you’re in the driver’s seat.
• Flexible Terms: Jay pays his private lenders 8% interest (no points), a figure that has kept 47 private lenders happily funding his deals for over a decade.
• Speed and Simplicity: No more racing against the clock to get bank approvals—when you control the capital, you control the deal.
• Total Funding Coverage: With the right approach, you can even collect a check at closing for repairs and extra equity, maximizing leverage and minimizing personal out-of-pocket risk.

The Secret Sauce: Teaching, Not Pitching

So how does Jay attract private lenders? Surprisingly, he’s never asked anyone for money and never pitches individual deals upfront. Instead, he educates. Jay puts on his “teacher hat” and holds conversations or luncheons focused on how private money works, offering value first. He explains the opportunity, including the mechanics of self-directed IRAs, and then waits for interested individuals to approach him. The key, he says, is separating the education from the ask—raising capital before you need it.

When it’s time for funding, Jay makes what he calls the “good news phone call.” Instead of a sales pitch, it’s a notification: “I now have a house under contract that matches the amount you were interested in putting to work.” This approach builds trust, urgency, and a professional dynamic—no desperate scrounging for financing.

Actionable Advice for New Investors

For those new to private money, Jay recommends starti