How can releasing old versions of oneself impact present relationships?

Healing old hurts in relationships is a profound journey that involves addressing past traumas and fostering a deeper connection between partners. Tanner, a voice in the realm of relationship recovery, brings a unique perspective to this process, shaped by his exploration of personal and partnership dynamics. She advocates for identifying and nurturing injured parts within us, suggesting that tapping into a deeper, transcendent core of healing power is crucial. By emphasizing the importance of proceeding at an individual pace and organically, Tanner believes that focusing on the present can lead to genuine improvement and resolution without the baggage of the past. Furthermore, she underscores the necessity of establishing behavior standards and trust within relationships, which then allows individuals to release old hurts and move forward in a more connected and compassionate partnership.

Key TakeAways

- Partnership is key in the recovery process and navigating challenges together can lead to healing and growth.

- Forgiveness, connection, and healing power are crucial components in addressing old hurts within a long-term relationship.

- Releasing and updating older versions of ourselves can prevent past wounds from affecting present interactions.

- Values differences and unburdening play a role in deciding to end a partnership, emphasizing the need for thorough introspection.

- Integration and embodiment in personal recovery journeys positively impact partnerships by leading to self-acceptance and vulnerability.

- Teasing the content of Season 12 at the end of Season 11 builds anticipation and engages the audience for future episodes.

Actionable Insights

- Discuss your recovery journey with others for support and understanding

- Work on forgiveness, connection, and healing power core in long-term relationships

- Release and update old versions of yourself to avoid causing present pain in relationships

- Consider values differences and the impact on others when ending a partnership

- Focus on integration and embodiment in personal recovery journeys for positive impact on partnerships

Quotes:

“There's so much to learn from other people's questions, because sometimes there's questions posed that we would have never thought to ask.” — Tanner [05:48]

“Sometimes older versions of us from our adolescent years will confuse our partner for our parent or will confuse our partner for an ex-lover or an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. And that needs to be cleaned up because that's also a distortion.” — Tanner [15:21]

“There's a very high bar for saying goodbye, in my personal opinion, because there's so much that can be done. To reach that point where you say with authenticity, clarity, transparency, it's time for me to say goodbye.” — Tanner  [25:22]

“A human that doesn't see other humans as human has been hurt horrifically. At some deep cellular level, they've been rejected.” — Tanner [29:34]