What if everything we think about gender is wrong? In this episode of "So You're Living in a Simulation" , @joli.artist makes the case that "male" doesn't actually exist—it's just a performance we've all agreed to believe in.

Starting with biology (we all begin as female fetuses), Joli walks us through how society trains people with certain body parts to suppress emotions and avoid anything coded as "feminine." The result? A male loneliness epidemic where men can only express feelings through alcohol or sports. "You live that for 70 years and you wonder why the suicide rates in this country are sky-high."

Key themes include:

- How testosterone creates physical differences, but culture creates "masculinity"

- The male loneliness epidemic and its connection to emotional suppression

- Bill Burr's observations on men not even being allowed to find puppies cute

- Why dominance and submission underlie what we perceive as gender

- How women make themselves "smaller" to attract partners seeking to dominate

Joli references Bill Burr's standup comedy about men not even being allowed to find puppies cute without being questioned—"That's a weird existence."

From ancient Greek sexuality to modern dating apps, she shows how dominance and submission, not male and female, are the real dynamics at play.

"Control isn't love. Dominance isn't love. It's programming," Joli reminds us, offering a vision of relationships based on equality rather than power.

Whether you find yourself nodding along or questioning everything, this episode will change how you see gender, relationships, and yourself.

youroneblackfriend.com

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Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction and "Seven Habits of Master Procrastinators" book

02:23 "The concept of males is actually an illusion."

07:24 "Men are essentially socialized." How boys are taught to be masculine

10:48 The dominance vs. submission dynamic that underlies gender interactions

22:26 "When a man says he is looking for a wife"

28:35 Prison Example: How the dominance/submission dynamic manifests in extreme situations

34:07 Ancient Greece & Rome: How masculine roles were defined by dominance, not orientation

38:16 Bill Burr stand-up: "You can't even find something cute without being accused of being gay"

47:51 "What healthy gender dynamics could look like" - The egalitarian perspective

01:00:29 Final Thoughts: "Be what you are"

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Key Explored Questions:

1. Are males just a social construct?

2. How do fetuses become male?

3. Why can't men show emotions?

4. Is gender about power dynamics?

5. What causes male loneliness?

6. Why are male suicide rates high?

7. What does Bill Burr say about masculinity?

8. What do prison relationships reveal about gender?

9. Why do women hide their achievements when dating?

10. Did ancient Greeks view gender differently?

11. Why can't boys play with dolls?

12. Is masculinity just a performance?

13. How to balance masculine and feminine energy?

14. Is true masculinity about self-mastery?

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#Masculinity #Femininity #Egalitarianism

Just Listen - Book Summary