Why do kids do disruptive, annoying or maddening things? Usually when children behave badly, the first thing adults do is yell at them, tell them they're bad and dole out punishments. Developmental psychologist David Yeager says that's the wrong approach. Instead parents need work out why their child made bad decisions in the first place.

David is the author of the book 10 to 25 and argues that we should work out what's at the root of bad behaviour in young people. Maybe they want to gain status with their peers, or crave more outlets to be social. Once adults work out these motivations, they can encourage their kids to find better ways to reach their goals without breaking the rules.

This series on parenting coincides with Dr Laurie's new free online class, The Science of Wellbeing for Parents which is available now at Coursera.org. You can sign up at drlauriesantos.com/parents.

Get ad-free episodes to The Happiness Lab by subscribing to Pushkin+ on Apple Podcasts or Pushkin.fm. Pushkin+ subscribers can access ad-free episodes, full audiobooks, exclusive binges, and bonus content for all Pushkin shows.

Subscribe on Apple: apple.co/pushkin
Subscribe on Pushkin: pushkin.fm/plus

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Friday after Ash Wednesday - Matt 9: 14-15