This is Love The Obituary Section
Jan 7, 2026
In this engaging discussion, Heather Lende, a dedicated writer from Haines, Alaska, shares her experiences crafting nearly 500 intimate obituaries that capture the essence of individuals and their stories. She reveals how grief influences her style and the importance of specific details. Joining her is Ed Miller, co-founder of the Provincetown Independent, who emphasizes the significance of personal character in obituaries and the challenges of balancing truth with family sentiments. Together, they highlight the communal value and emotional depth that obituaries bring to life.
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How Heather Started Writing Obituaries
- Heather Lende began writing obituaries in 1996 after a family requested she write one for Nedra Waterman.
- Nedra had documented details that taught Heather how to write obituaries and eased her into the role.
Death Opens Up Hidden Stories
- Heather says people reveal stories about their lives more readily after death than when alive.
- Families and friends often provide telling details that wouldn't surface otherwise.
Use Vivid Details, Not Labels
- Heather asks families to list words that describe the deceased and then probes for vivid examples.
- She uses concrete, small details (like ironing pillowcases) to show character rather than abstract labels.
