The Learn to Love Podcast

Ep 154: The Ebb and Flow of Long-term Love with Dr. Bonnie Comfort

Aug 10, 2025
Dr. Bonnie Comfort, a seasoned psychologist and marriage expert, dives deep into the complexities of long-term love. She questions the 'Happily Ever After' ideal and shares insights on communication and self-reflection as crucial for navigating relationships. Bonnie emphasizes the importance of personal happiness and individual growth alongside mutual contributions. The discussion also touches on rekindling romance, the impact of intimacy, and the emotional dynamics in partnerships, providing listeners with valuable tools to sustain love over time.
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INSIGHT

Happily Ever After Is A Fantasy

  • Bonnie Comfort says living happily ever after is a fantasy and unrealistic.
  • She argues long-term partnership can work when expectations match reality.
ADVICE

Sweet Spot To Commit

  • Bonnie Comfort recommends marrying around age 30 to choose more wisely.
  • She says 29–33 balances experience with flexibility to grow together.
ADVICE

How Bonnie Starts Couples Work

  • Bonnie begins couples work with a joint session and then individual sessions to assess commitment.
  • She asks why you fell in love and what is good to widen perspective beyond complaints.
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