S1E105: Raising a resilient child

May 3, 2023

29:44

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Our guest explains the importance of parent-child relationships to build resilience in children.

Synopsis: Every first and third Wednesday of the month, The Straits Times helps you make sense of health matters that affect you.

In this episode, Straits Times senior health correspondent Joyce Teo invites educational psychologist Danielle Seah to talk about what parents can do to help build resilience in children.

Ms Seah said parents need to spend the time and make the effort to connect and bond with their children. One of the most important factor for children to develop resilience is for them to have at least one stable relationship with a parent or caregiver, she said.

In the podcast, she also discussed the common mistakes that parents make, when it comes to building resilience, as well as some of the questions in a booklet titled Raising A Resilient Child, such as “why does your child suffer from emotional regulation?” and “why can’t your child control his/her behaviours?”.

Ms Seah wrote the booklet together with senior psychologist Kelly Lee, as part of the recent Youth Epidemiology and Resilience (YEAR) study conducted by the Mind Science Centre at the National University of Singapore. They are both now working in the private sector.

The free booklet, which was released last year and available online, addresses the common questions that parents have, based on the factors on the Singapore Youth Resilience Scale, which examines the resilience profiles of youths in the country.

The 10 Domains of Resilience identified under the scale are

1. Emotional Regulation

2. Personal Control

3. Personal Confidence/Responsibility

4. Flexibility

5. Perseverance

6. Optimisim/Positive Self-image

7. Positive Coping

8. Humour/Positive Thinking

9. Relationships/Social Support

10. Spiritually/Faith

Resilience is the ability to cope with difficult life experiences. It is a dynamic process that can change depending on the moment and situation. It is also defined by an individual’s characteristics (character, beliefs and experiences) and the context, said the Mind Science Centre.

The centre, which worked with some schools here for the YEAR study said that it is also the interaction between biology and environment that builds a student’s ability to cope with adversity and to overcome threats to healthy development.

Led by Associate Professor John Wong, the study had found that only about one in 10 parents observed signs of distress in their children, but one in three adolescents reported such symptoms. Prof Wong, the Lin Jo Yan and Yeo Boon Khim Professor in Mental Health and Neuroscience, had said that it is a timely call for parents to develop a relationship with their children when they are young.

Highlights (click/tap above):

1:06 What an educational psychologist does?

4:56: Mistakes that parents often make

12:26 How does "letting go", build resilience in the child?

16:30 Tips for raising a resilient child

Helplines
MENTAL WELL-BEING
• Institute of Mental Health’s Mental Health Helpline: 6389-2222 (24 hours)
• Samaritans of Singapore: 1-767 (24 hours) / 9151-1767 (24 hours CareText via WhatsApp)
• Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-283-7019
• Silver Ribbon Singapore: 6386-1928
• Tinkle Friend: 1800-274-4788
• Chat, Centre of Excellence for Youth Mental Health: 6493-6500/1
• Women’s Helpline (Aware): 1800-777-5555 (weekdays, 10am to 6pm)COUNSELLING
• TOUCHline (Counselling): 1800-377-2252
• TOUCH Care Line (for caregivers): 6804-6555
• Care Corner Counselling Centre: 6353-1180
• Counselling and Care Centre: 6536-6366ONLINE RESOURCES
•  mindline.sg
•  eC2.sg
•  tinklefriend.sg
•  chat.mentalhealth.sg
•  carey.carecorner.org.sg (for those aged 13 to 25)
•  limitless.sg/talk (for those aged 12 to 25)