What happens to a dream deferred?
The poet, Langston Hughes, spoke about deferred dreams in his poem Harlem.
In today’s episode, I share some of my deferred dreams, including the launch of this podcast.
I also challenge you to be more intentional about your dreams, the importance of recording your dreams and checking in with yourself on your dreams.
As the owner of The 516 Collaborative, I help business owners show up as owners instead of being owned by their businesses.
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Podcast transcript:
0:02
Hello and welcome to collab with Kiva. I'm your host Kiva, Slade. From the marbled halls of the US Congress to my racing-themed office chair. I've learned that there is no perfect path to the life of your dreams. My journey over the past 20 years has included being a legislative director for a member of Congress, policy director for a nonprofit, stay-at-home mom, homeschooling mom, jewelry biz owner, and now the owner of a service-based business. Whether your journey has been a straight line, or follow zigs and zags. Join me and my guest as we share insights, hopes, and lessons learned from our female entrepreneurship journeys. May the collaborative sharing of our stories be the tide that lifts your boat? Let's dive in.
Kiva Slade 0:55
Hello, and welcome back to Collab with Kiva. Today, I want to talk about dreams. Whether they're deferred or not. We all have dreams. One of my favorite movies is Pretty Woman. I love Julia Roberts. In the movie. One of the actors says, What's your dream? Everybody comes here. This is Hollywood, a land of dreams. Some dreams come true. Some don't. But keep on dreaming. This is Hollywood. You know, and he says that, and he's just kind of walking down the street. And it's true. We all have dreams.
1:39
What are some of your dreams? And then what happens when dreams are deferred? You know, those dreams that they don't come to reality when you have them or not too soon after? It takes a while. And when we think about deferred dreams, obviously there was the poet, Langston Hughes who says, what happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like A Raisin in the Sun? Or fester like a sore and then run? Does it stink like rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over like a syrupy sweet? Maybe it just sags like a heavy load? Or does it explode? What happens to our deferred dreams?
2:31
I've shared before that this podcast is one of my deferred dreams. It did not happen in the timeline or timeframe that I thought it would. It has taken two years. What has happened to it? Well, I know that it didn't dry up like A Raisin in the Sun. It didn't fester. It doesn't stink. And it really I won't say it crested and kind of sugared over. But it does at one point explode. And that's what happened for me, it exploded to the point where I was like, it's time to do this. The time is now in each of us has those kinds of dreams. I shared this dream with a coach two years ago. This wasn't the only dream though, that I shared with this business coach. I shared other dreams. Okay, I shared a dream of having someone come in to clean my house. It may seem trivial to some. But that was like my husband loves a clean house. And our definitions probably of cleanliness are not always the same. But with kids when they were younger. And then as kids grow older, it just always feels like for a lot of women like it falls on you to be that one to have the house clean. And I said I would love to be able to make enough money in my business. I can have someone come in and clean the house. And let's be real, that feeling of a clean house. Just makes everybody feel better. It took a year for that dream to happen. It took a year. I am grateful for that year, because I really worked hard in my business to make those things happen. But it took a year. It was definitely a deferred dream.
4:23
Okay, the podcast has taken two years. Another dream I shared with her was for new car. Um you know, I've been that minivan mama. And I knew that at this point. You know, I was approaching that point where my kids were driving themselves and I didn't want to continue to drive a minivan. Like when you don't have kids or they go off to school or they're driving themselves, like who wants to drive still the minivan like who are you shuttling around like what's all the things that are happening in this van, that's expansive. And it's just you. And so I shared about a new car. And when I say I shared, I shared it with her, I put it on a vision board, that is my computer screen, I did all of these things. And if all goes well, in December two years later, that's gonna happen.
5:27
And I share this today, because sometimes we have dreams, and we don't write them down. We don't write down our dreams, whether they're big dreams or small dreams. And I want to encourage you to write down your dreams. Write them down, I want you to post them somewhere, or be intentional or rather, and, and be intentional about reviewing them. Your dreams are powerful. I'll say that, again, your dreams are powerful. And I know that some will say you need to have a plan to accomplish those dreams. I know that you're already doing all of those things. I know that you're showing up for yourself, I know that you are working hard. I know that you're constantly learning, I know that you are investing in yourself. So I'm not even going to focus on those things. I'm going to focus on just the dream.
6:28
The dreams that I have of wanting to have some different investments set aside for my kids that they actually have a different financial future. Okay, being able to financially contribute to our household. For me, like, I was a stay-at-home mom for 18 years. I didn't have to contribute to our household, which was a blessing. But I want to be able to do that. I want to be able to contribute to our household. And I'm already starting to do that. There's the house cleaner, who does come twice a month? My husband and I have purchased a second house and I'm paying for the cable there. Yes, I am. And I don't say that to make light of it. I mean, it's, I don't know, $57 a month. But that's something that we need there. And I'm able to take care of that. And that feels really good. It does. And sometimes our dreams might be bigger things than that. Or they could be small things. Or they could just be things that hey, they just make us feel good. Okay, and it makes me feel good when the house is clean, it makes me feel good that I am taking care of that cable bill, you know, at our second house, and that I am a I take care of all of our groceries, you know, those are things that could my husband take care of? Definitely. But does he not have to? Nope, because those are things that I've said I want to do.
8:15
So write down your dreams, celebrate those dreams when they are fulfilled. Okay, and you can't celebrate them if you don't write them down, because then you won't even know that you've hit them that you've met them, that they're fulfilled at this point in time. Okay, I celebrate. I am so grateful. When the house is clean. I'm so grateful for the launch of this podcast. I am so grateful for being able to pick up the tab when we you know, go out to dinner. I am grateful for those things that may not be huge to some people, but they're huge to me. And I want you to update your dream list. When you start seeing that those dreams are happening. I want you to dream bigger. Challenge yourself to dream bigger, whatever bigger is for you. Okay. That's so important. Our dreams really do help propel us forward. And they help us keep going when there's times that we might feel like we want to quit. At least they do for me. And I think they do for you as well. And like I said, I know that you're doing all those other things to move your business forward. And as you do those things, you are getting so much closer to that next dream and that dream after that. And for those dreams that are so pressing on you that feel like they're going to explode, move them up on your list.
10:05
There's something there that's trying to be birth that's trying to come forth. And you are the one that needs to bring it forth. Allow yourself to be that vessel to move that dream forward. Can it be scary? Most definitely. Will it feel frightening at times? Absolutely. However, it's necessary. It's needed, you're necessary, you're needed to be that vessel to bring it forward. You never know who's watching. Who's inspired, who's encouraged who your motivation for. And I don't share these things to brag. Because there's trust me, not an ounce of braggadocious in there. But I do share them to really just that inspire encourage someone else. That, hey, I sat on this thing for two years. Okay, two years. And I didn't let it go. I didn't let it go. I knew it wasn't going to be immediate. I knew it was going to take time. In that's okay. Not every dream has to be fulfilled immediately. Some, you still need some work to happen, whether it's added insights, whether it's additional motivation, confidence, whatever it might be. Sometimes there's still something going on that you aren't ready yet for it to happen. Not yet time for you to be that vessel. But when it is, move forward with confidence, move forward with quickness in doing the things that need to be done.
12:09
So my challenge to you is just that right out your dreams, whether they feel big, whether they feel small. And you might even say Kiva, no one cares about this dream that I have that's so seemingly insignificant. Yes, you care about it. And I care about it for you. So write them out. Check-in with yourself. Intentionally check in with yourself about where you are with that dream. You might find that you're so much closer than you had thought. And that you gave yourself credit for. I want you to celebrate those dreams when you fulfill them. And I want you to update your dream list. Because your deferred dreams, we're not letting them dry up like raisins in the sun. Nor do we want them stinking like meat that's rotten. We don't want them crusted over. Even though crusted sugar-crusted over on a pie crust is very tasty. We don't want that. Okay, we don't want it to die either. We want that dream to come forth. And to come forth with such a passion that we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was ours and that we made that thing happen. So write down your dreams. Be intentional about checking in with them, celebrate them when they are fulfilled, and continue to update your dream list. Until next time.
14:01
Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Collab with Kiva. I hope you were feeling inspired and motivated to keep being your amazing self. Make sure to subscribe so you don't miss out on any future episodes. Also, your reviews on Apple are greatly appreciated. They will help other women knows that their path is unique to them. If you're interested in being or finding a partner for this journey that you can collab with. Join us in the collab a community of female business owners on Facebook. See you next time.