Sex Talks with Tweens

Sex talks with tweens can be...awkward.  Even Amy Lang, ON BOYS' go-to sex ed guru, stumbled through her initial sex talks with her son. "I thought I'd be great at it, but I just wasn't," she says. "I realized I'd rather talk to a 15 year old about their pregnancy than talk to my five year old about his penis." But boys need accurate information about human bodies, sexuality, and relationships. They need our help to recognize and explore cultural messages about sex and sexuality. The tween years can be a great time to explore these subjects. "Between approximately age 9 and 12, their brains are still open; adolescence has not yet happened," Amy says, so tween boys may be more open to these conversations than teens. You can also speak more freely, as most tweens will already have some baseline knowledge. "You can't harm your child by talking to them about sex," Amy says. "If you're giving them the information, it won't hurt them." In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Amy discuss: Sex talks with tweens When -- and how -- to start talking about sex Helping boys untangle cultural messages about sex and sexuality What to do if your son has been exposed to porn What to do if your son shows porn to other kids Helping boys find safe outlets for natural curiosity Average penis size Polyamory Talking about sexual abuse & "tricky people" Consent Sex for fun & pleasure Should parents tell their kids about their sexual experiences? First time? Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode: Bird & Bees & Kids -- Amy's website (includes a link to her Solutions Center) USE THE COUPON CODE BOYS TO GET $30 OFF LIFETIME ACCESS TO AMY'S SOLUTION CENTER Amy Lang's Just Say This -- Amy's podcast Amy Lang on How to Keep Boys Safe Online -- ON BOYS episode Talk to Boys About Sex (w Amy Lang) --- ON BOYS episode 21st Century Sex Ed w Jo Langford -- ON BOYS episode The Joy of Sex -- book recommended by Amy (at 22:20) Savage Love - sex Q & A by Dan Savage Savage Lovecast -- Dan Savage's podcast Boundaries & Consent (w Sarah Casper) -- ON BOYS episode Consent w Mike Domitrz -- ON BOYS episode Talking to Boys About Sexually Aggressive Girls -- Building Boys post Need help with your boys? Subscribe to Jen’s newsletter, Building Boys Bulletin Opt-in at Boys Alive! for your free guide: Boys & Big Emotions with Janet

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