Christmas has a way of showing us what we have been carrying all year.

For many women, this season brings more responsibility, more emotional labor, and more pressure to hold everything together while feeling unseen in their relationships and disconnected from themselves.

I spent years overfunctioning in relationships, believing that giving more and trying harder would create safety and connection. My identity was built around being capable, impressive, and indispensable.

A coach once asked me a question that changed everything. Who are you if it all goes away tomorrow?

When super traits are unhealed, brilliance becomes a survival strategy. Empathy turns into emotional labor. Loyalty turns into self-abandonment. Tolerance turns into endurance.

And when pleasure and desire disappear, we blame ourselves instead of the systems that taught us to survive this way. A client recently said something that named it perfectly.

I learned to be valuable so I could be safe. Being impressive became my armor. I want a relationship where my presence is enough.

My Christmas wish for you is that you know you are worthy of a relationship where you do not earn closeness through effort, and your nervous system can finally exhale.

If you are ready to stop managing intimacy and overfunctioning in your relationships, you can apply for the Pleasure Centered Society. Applications begin with a short call. Holiday bonuses include the Pleasure Centered Relationship Masterclass and a Super Trait Audit.

I will leave you with two questions.

-What underlying need of yours is it serving to keep overfunctioning?

-What truth do you need to accept about this situation or relationship for you to stop overfunctioning?

Merry Christmas.

Take the free Super Trait Quiz to understand why these patterns show up so strongly during the holidays.

Book a Super Trait Audit for clarity on where overfunctioning is costing you energy, connection, and desire.

Apply for the Pleasure Centered Society if you are ready to stop carrying the emotional load and start being met.

00:00:35 Unhealed Super Traits 00:02:32 Shedding Old Identities 00:04:30 Building Healthier Relationships 00:04:50 Overcoming Overgiving 00:06:57 Journal Prompts 00:12:32 Pleasure Centered Relationship 00:16:28 Christmas Wishes

5. Sunday Shows at 50: Andrew Marr